Meditation Mind Tricks: Why Isn't My Mind Quieting?

Meditation is a practice that has gained traction as a way to calm the mind and reduce anxiety. However, many people find it challenging to achieve a quiet mind during meditation, which can lead to self-criticism. It is important to understand that meditation is not about completely stopping thoughts but rather noticing and observing them without judgement. The goal is to detach from thoughts and bring your attention to the present moment, focusing on your breath. This practice can help reduce anticipatory anxiety and improve overall well-being.

Meditation is not about quieting the mind

Meditation is often misunderstood as a practice of quieting the mind or stopping thoughts altogether. However, this is a misconception, and it is important to understand that the goal of meditation is not to control or silence your thoughts but to observe and detach from them without judgement.

Your mind will never stop thinking, and that's okay. Instead of trying to force your mind to be quiet, meditation is about noticing and accepting what's happening in the present moment, including any struggling, attempts to control, thoughts, feelings, or resistance. It is about discovering the truth of your current state and bringing your attention to the present, rather than searching for peace or distraction.

Meditation is a practice of mindfulness, and it is normal for your thoughts to wander. When this happens, gently acknowledge and accept the thoughts, and then let them go, returning your focus to your breath. This process is a skill that improves with practice, and it is not about forcing yourself to stop thinking but about noticing, accepting, and detaching from your thoughts without judgement.

To support your meditation practice, find a comfortable position that works for you, whether it be sitting, lying down, or another posture. Take deep breaths, focusing on your inhalation and exhalation, and perhaps counting your breaths or using words like "in" and "out" to guide you. If you find your mind wandering, simply bring your attention back to your breath without judging yourself or your practice.

Remember, meditation is not about quieting your mind but about observing and accepting your thoughts and feelings as they are in the present moment.

Finding a comfortable position

When preparing for meditation, finding a comfortable position is paramount. The traditional lotus position (a cross-legged, seated pose) is not always suitable for everyone. Instead, you should find a position that suits your body and needs. This could be lying down on your back or side, which may also improve your breathing, or sitting in a chair with your eyes closed and your body relaxed.

The key is to ensure your body is relaxed and comfortable, and you are able to maintain this position for several minutes without it becoming a distraction. If you are uncomfortable, you will not be able to focus on your meditation practice. Strip away any possible distractions you can, and ensure your position supports your meditation journey, rather than hinders it.

You may wish to sit on a cushion on the floor to avoid leg pain, or on a chair with both feet flat on the ground. If you are sitting, ensure your spine is straight but relaxed. This position should help you stay alert and avoid sleepiness. If you are lying down, ensure you are not on a bed or couch, as this may induce sleep.

If you are struggling to find a comfortable position, you may wish to try a different time of day for your meditation practice. For example, if you are meditating in the morning, ensure you are fully awake. Drink some water and walk around a little before you begin. If you are meditating at night, try to ensure you are in a warm place, as cooler temperatures can induce sleep.

Taking deep breaths

Deep breathing is a powerful tool to ease stress and anxiety. It is also a foundational aspect of meditation. When you breathe deeply, your diaphragm at the base of your lungs pushes your belly out. This is called belly breathing and is a natural way to breathe.

• Find a quiet place to sit or lie down.
• Place one palm gently on your navel and the other on your chest.
• Breathe in through your nose and let your belly fill with air.
• As your belly expands, you can gently push it in and out with your hand.
• Aim to breathe in for a count of three and breathe out for a count of five.
• Repeat this cycle to trigger the relaxation response.
• You can also try saying "in" in your mind as you breathe in and "out" as you breathe out.
• If you are a beginner, start with shorter meditations and work your way up.

Remember, meditation is not about completely quieting your mind. It is about noticing what's happening, including your thoughts and feelings. So, take those deep breaths, relax, and observe without judgment.

Accepting wandering thoughts

Meditation is not about quieting your mind or stopping thoughts altogether. It is about noticing what's happening in your mind and body and bringing your attention back to the present moment. Your mind will never stop thinking, but you can learn to observe your thoughts without getting caught up in them.

When you notice your mind wandering during meditation, simply acknowledge the thoughts and let them go. Don't judge yourself or get frustrated. It's natural for your mind to wander, and it doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. Just gently bring your attention back to your breath or whatever your meditation focus is.

One way to think about it is to imagine your thoughts as leaves floating down a stream. You can observe them, but you don't have to hold on to them or get carried away by them. Let them drift by, and return your focus to the present moment.

Meditation is a practice, and it takes time to develop the skill of focusing your mind. Don't expect perfection, and don't be hard on yourself if your mind wanders. Just keep practising, and you will gradually improve your ability to focus and quiet your mind.

Using a guided meditation app

Guided meditation apps can be a great way to start your meditation practice or to enhance your current practice. They can help make meditation more intuitive and accessible, and many are designed for both beginners and seasoned practitioners.

• Choose the right app for you: There are many meditation apps available, and it's important to find one that meets your needs. Consider what you hope to achieve with the app, such as learning breathing techniques, finding anxiety coping skills, or improving sleep. Also, think about the pricing, devices you want it to work on, and the type of guidance and programs offered.
• Try a beginner's course: Many apps offer beginner's courses or guided meditations for newbies. These can be a great way to learn the basics of meditation and get comfortable with the practice.
• Make it a daily habit: Consistency is key with meditation. Try to schedule a short window of time each day to devote to your practice. Even a few minutes can make a difference.
• Find a quiet space: Create a calm and comfortable space to meditate. This could be a quiet room, a meditation cushion, or even just a comfortable chair.
• Use headphones: Most guided meditation apps will have audio components, so using headphones can help you focus on the guidance and block out external noises.
• Start with short sessions: When you're first starting out, it's best to begin with shorter sessions. This can help you build your practice without feeling overwhelmed. You can always increase the duration over time.
• Be patient and compassionate with yourself: Meditation is a skill that takes time and practice to develop. Don't be hard on yourself if you find it challenging to quiet your mind or focus. Simply acknowledge any thoughts or distractions and gently bring your attention back to your breath.
• Experiment with different meditations: Guided meditation apps often offer a variety of meditations to choose from. Feel free to explore and find the ones that resonate with you. You might find certain types of meditations, such as body scans or nature visualisations, particularly helpful for calming your mind.
• Combine with other practices: Guided meditation apps often offer additional features such as breathing exercises, yoga, or bedtime stories. These can complement your meditation practice and provide a more holistic approach to your wellbeing.
• Make it a family affair: If you have children or want to meditate with your family, look for apps that offer family-friendly meditations and activities. This can be a wonderful way to introduce mindfulness to your loved ones and create a calming environment for everyone.
• Headspace: This app offers a wide variety of guided meditations for all levels, from beginners to experts. It has a user-friendly interface and simple navigation. Headspace also provides a daily personalised to-do list and group sessions for a sense of community.
• Calm: Calm is well-known for its relaxing background sounds, short meditations, and sleep stories. It offers a large collection of content, including soothing soundscapes, narrated meditations, and sleep stories designed to help you fall asleep.
• Ten Percent Happier: This app is great for beginners, with easy-to-follow guided meditations and shorter sessions that can be increased over time. It's based on the book "10% Happier" by ABC news anchor Dan Harris.
• Smiling Mind: Smiling Mind is a free app that offers hundreds of meditations without overwhelming you with choices. It has structured programs like Mindful Foundations, Sleep, and Stress Management, as well as bite-sized meditations for quick mindful pauses during the day. It also has specialised programs for families, children, and teens.
• Healthy Minds Program: This is another free app that helps you develop skills for a healthy mind, including mental focus, stress reduction, and improved resilience and compassion. The app is founded on neuroscience and research-based techniques, integrating them with meditation training.

Remember, meditation is not about completely quieting your mind or stopping your thoughts. It's about observing and noticing what's happening in your mind and body without judgement. So, be gentle with yourself, and trust that the practice will become easier and more beneficial over time.

Frequently asked questions