Meditation Difficulties: Overcoming The Mind's Resistance To Calm

Many people find it challenging to meditate due to various physical, mental, and environmental factors. Some common obstacles include a lack of time, physical discomfort, an overactive mind, external distractions, scepticism about the benefits, feelings of inadequacy, and anxiety. However, it is important to remember that meditation is a highly individual practice, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. With persistence and experimentation, anyone can find a form of meditation that works for them.

I'm too busy and stressed

It's understandable that you may feel too busy and stressed to meditate. However, it's important to note that meditation can actually help reduce stress and increase productivity, making it a valuable tool for managing a busy schedule. Here are some tips and insights to help you incorporate meditation into your routine:

Make Time for Meditation

Even if you have a busy schedule, you can still find time for meditation. It only takes a few minutes a day to practice meditation and reap its benefits. You can start with as little as one minute of breathing exercises or a short guided meditation, gradually increasing the duration over time. Try adding meditation to your existing routine, such as when you wake up in the morning or before bed. This helps trick your mind into resisting it less. Remember, you don't need a lot of time; even five minutes of meditation can make a difference.

Prioritize Self-Care

Being "too busy" is often a reflection of priorities. High achievers such as Tim Ferriss, Oprah Winfrey, and Ellen DeGeneres make time for daily meditation, recognizing the importance of self-care. Ask yourself if you are truly too busy, or if you need to reprioritize your time to include activities that benefit your mental health. Meditation is a valuable tool for managing stress and improving overall well-being.

Manage Distractions

If you find it challenging to sit still and quiet your mind due to distractions or a busy schedule, remember that the goal of meditation is not to force your mind to be absolutely still. Instead, it's about letting go of resistance to whatever arises. You don't have to eliminate all distractions to meditate effectively. Cars going by outside? That's fine. Let them go by without following them with your thoughts. The quiet you seek is inside, not outside.

Be Kind to Yourself

If you're feeling stressed about meditation, remember that it's a practice, and it takes time to develop this skill. Be patient with yourself and approach meditation with compassion. It's okay if your mind wanders or if you don't feel like you're doing it "right." Everyone encounters obstacles along the way, even seasoned meditators. The key is to keep practicing and be gentle with yourself.

Explore Different Types of Meditation

If traditional seated meditation doesn't work for you, there are other types of meditation you can explore. You can try moving meditations such as walking meditation, yoga, or tai chi. These forms of meditation can be just as beneficial as still meditation and may better suit your needs. Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to meditation; find what works best for you.

I can't stop thinking

Many people find it difficult to meditate because they cannot stop their minds from thinking. This is a common challenge, and it is important to remember that trying to stop thoughts is like trying to stop the wind—impossible. The mind is often compared to a drunken monkey bitten by a scorpion in Eastern teachings; constantly distracted and leaping from one thought to another. When attempting to meditate, people often find that their minds are filled with manic activity and chatter.

This constant mental activity is a result of years of creating and maintaining dramas, stresses, confusion, and self-centredness. The mind is simply doing what it has been trained to do and craves entertainment and distraction. However, it is important to understand that this is a normal experience, and one is not expected to suddenly turn off their thoughts during meditation.

The goal of meditation is not to force the mind to be completely still, but rather to let go of resistance to whatever arises, including thoughts, feelings, and sensations. It is about observing and accepting the present moment without judgement. Every time the mind wanders, gently bring it back to the present moment and focus on the breath or another chosen anchor.

The more one practices meditation, the quieter the mind becomes. It is a gradual process, and it takes time to train the mind to settle down. With regular practice, the experience of stillness accumulates, and the mind becomes calmer and more focused. It is important to be patient and compassionate with oneself during the meditation journey, as everyone's path is unique.

In conclusion, while it is challenging to stop thoughts from arising during meditation, it is not necessary to do so. By observing and accepting thoughts without judgement, one can gradually cultivate a quieter and more focused mind over time. Meditation is a practice of letting go and being present with whatever arises in the moment.

I can't sit still

Many people struggle with meditation because they can't sit still. The good news is that meditation does not require stillness. There are many different ways to meditate, and it's about finding what works for you.

The traditional image of meditation involves sitting with your eyes closed, hands on thighs or in a prayer pose, and focusing on your breath. However, this type of meditation can be challenging for those who are easily distracted or have trouble sitting still. It is important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to meditation, and it is okay to customise it to your needs.

If you can't sit still while meditating, you can try incorporating movement into your practice. Movement meditation can take many forms, such as slow dancing, transitioning between yoga poses, or simply moving your body in a way that feels good. Walking is also a form of meditative practice, as it is a repetitive and rhythmic activity that can help activate the parasympathetic nervous system, reducing anxiety and promoting relaxation.

Another option for those who can't sit still is to try a different type of anchor for your meditation practice. Instead of focusing on your breath, you can try counting your breaths, repeating a mantra or affirmation, or holding an object in your hands and focusing on the sensations it evokes. You can also try guided meditations or visualisations, which can be found for free online or through apps such as Headspace or Calm.

If you are struggling to sit still while meditating, it may be helpful to start small. Try meditating for just a few minutes at a time, or even just focusing on a single breath. You can also try making it part of your daily routine, such as meditating first thing in the morning or attaching it to another daily task like making coffee. Remember, the key is to relax and focus on something in the present moment, and there is no right or wrong way to do it.

I don't see the point

Many people find it hard to see the point of meditation, especially if they are new to the practice. However, there are many benefits to regular meditation, although they may not be immediately obvious.

Meditation is a practice that has been around for thousands of years, with roots in many different religions and cultures. It is a way to train your mind, and it can be a helpful tool for managing stress and anxiety. It can also help you to become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, and to accept them without judgement. This can be challenging, especially if you are dealing with negative or uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. But, over time, it can help you to feel calmer and clearer, and better able to handle stress.

It can be frustrating if you don't feel like you are getting the benefits of meditation right away. However, it is important to remember that meditation is a skill that takes practice. It is also a very personal practice, and there is no "right" or "wrong" way to do it. There are many different types of meditation, and you may need to try out a few before finding what works for you. It may be helpful to start small, with just a few minutes of meditation a day, and work your way up from there.

Meditation is not about forcing your mind to be still, but rather about observing your thoughts and letting them go. This can be difficult, especially if you are dealing with a busy mind or feeling bored. However, the more you practice, the easier it will become to quiet your mind and find a sense of stillness.

I don't know how to start

If you're unsure where to start with meditation, you're not alone. Many people feel the same way, but the good news is that meditation is something anyone can do, anytime, anywhere. It's easy to learn and involves some pretty basic techniques.

• Start small: If you're new to meditation, it's best to start slowly. Begin with just 5–10 minutes each day and gradually increase the time over several weeks. Even a short meditation can be beneficial, and you'll feel more and more benefits the more you practice.
• Find a comfortable spot: You can sit on the floor with a cushion or sit upright in a chair with your feet on the floor. The key is to be upright but not rigid—think of it as embodying dignity and wakefulness. You can meditate anywhere, but it's nice to have a special place in your home for your practice.
• Focus on your breath: One of the easiest meditation techniques is to count your breaths. Count each in-breath and out-breath with the same number. When you reach 10, start over at one. If you don't like counting, you can simply focus on the sensation of breathing in and out.
• Be kind to your wandering mind: It's normal for your mind to wander during meditation. When you notice your mind wandering, gently guide your attention back to your breath. Don't criticize or judge yourself; simply notice and return to the present moment.
• Make it a habit: Try to meditate at the same time every day and make it a part of your daily routine, just like brushing your teeth or exercising. It takes about 66 days for something to become a habit, so be consistent.
• Let go of expectations: Meditation is about non-judgmental awareness and embracing whatever comes up in the present moment. You might feel bored, restless, agitated, or calm during your practice—all of these experiences are normal. Let go of any expectations and simply observe what arises without attachment or judgment.
• Be comfortable: Wear comfortable clothing and sit in a position that feels natural to you. You can cross or uncross your arms and legs, whatever feels right. If you're feeling fidgety, notice the sensation and then gently bring your attention back to your breath.
• Try guided meditation: Guided meditation is a great way to get started. It's led by a teacher who will explain what to do and provide motivation and advice. Once you're familiar with the practice, you can try unguided meditation on your own.
• Remember, there's no right or wrong way to meditate: Everyone's experience with meditation is unique, so don't worry if you're doing it "right." The most important thing is to be consistent and kind to yourself.

Frequently asked questions