Christian Kids Abandon Faith: Why It Happens

why christian kids leave the faith

Many young people are leaving the Christian faith. Research has identified several reasons for this, including:

- Troubling, unanswered questions about the faith

- Their faith is not working for them

- They have allowed other things to take priority

- They never personally owned their faith

- Churches seem overprotective

- Their experience of Christianity is shallow

- Churches come across as antagonistic to science

- Their church experiences related to sexuality are simplistic and judgmental

- They wrestle with the exclusive nature of Christianity

- The church feels unfriendly to those who doubt

Characteristics Values
Troubling, unanswered questions about the faith 32%
Their faith is not working for them 25%
They allowed other things to take priority 25%
They never personally owned their faith 20%
Churches seem overprotective 23%
Teens’ and twentysomethings’ experience of Christianity is shallow 31%
Churches come across as antagonistic to science 35%
Young Christians’ church experiences related to sexuality are often simplistic, judgmental 17%
They wrestle with the exclusive nature of Christianity 29%
The church feels unfriendly to those who doubt 36%

shunspirit

They have troubling, unanswered questions about the faith

Christian kids are leaving the faith because they have troubling, unanswered questions about the faith. They come to doubt that Christianity offers compelling answers to the tough questions—questions related to science, suffering, sexuality, and other crucial subjects. Their doubts may be intellectual, academic, theological, or practical. Whatever the case, they become convinced that Christianity does not actually offer truth to those who seek it, that its answers are unreasonable, unrealistic, or just plain wrong. No longer satisfied with the answers and claims of Christianity, they opt for “intellectual honesty” and look elsewhere.

Christianity is seen as stifling, fear-based, and risk-averse. Many young Christians express the desire for their faith in Christ to connect to the world they live in, but instead, their experience of Christianity feels stifling, fear-based, and risk-averse. One-quarter of 18- to 29-year-olds said “Christians demonize everything outside of the church”. Other perceptions in this category include “church ignoring the problems of the real world” and “my church is too concerned that movies, music, and video games are harmful”.

Young Christians feel that churches are antagonistic to science. The tension they feel between Christianity and science is a significant factor in their departure from the faith. Many science-minded young Christians are struggling to find ways of staying faithful to their beliefs and to their professional calling in science-related industries. The most common perception in this arena is “Christians are too confident they know all the answers”. Three out of ten young adults with a Christian background feel that “churches are out of step with the scientific world we live in”. Another quarter embrace the perception that “Christianity is anti-science”. And nearly the same proportion said they have “been turned off by the creation-versus-evolution debate”.

Young Christians are also struggling with how to live meaningful lives in terms of sex and sexuality. With unfettered access to digital pornography and immersed in a culture that values hyper-sexuality over wholeness, teen and twenty-something Christians are struggling with how to live up to the church’s expectations of chastity and sexual purity in this culture, especially as the age of first marriage is now commonly delayed to the late twenties. Research indicates that most young Christians are as sexually active as their non-Christian peers, even though they are more conservative in their attitudes about sexuality. One-sixth of young Christians said they “have made mistakes and feel judged in church because of them”. The issue of sexuality is particularly salient among 18- to 29-year-old Catholics, among whom two out of five said the church’s “teachings on sexuality and birth control are out of date”.

How to address these questions

The solution to this problem is to engage the difficult questions with our children and to show that Christianity offers a cohesive and compelling worldview that accounts for science, suffering, sexuality, and whatever else we find pressing or perplexing. We have nothing to fear from even our children’s most difficult questions. We need to be vulnerable with our children and express that we, too, experience moments of doubt and disbelief and that we are sometimes left wishing for answers God has not provided. We need to be careful not to oversell our faith, not to describe the Christian life as free from all difficulty. After all, the Bible emphasizes both the joys and the suffering that come to those who believe.

We also need to help our kids wrestle with the Scriptures. Don’t skim over the tough parts of Scripture. Believe me, your kids will find them. They may get to college and a professor will claim that the Bible is misogynistic, racist, bigoted, or homophobic. Look at those claims as an open door to solidify your kid’s faith. Have challenging conversations with your kids about those tough topics in the light of Scripture.

shunspirit

Their faith is not working for them

Christian kids are leaving the faith because they are not able to find the peace, joy, or meaning that the Christian faith claims to offer them. Their experience of Christianity does not match what they have been taught to believe about it. Their experience does not match what they see modelled by friends, pastors, or parents—people who express the joy and fulfilment that is theirs through a relationship with Christ Jesus. Out of discouragement, they abandon Christianity, sure that its claims are exaggerated or just plain false.

The solution here is to be vulnerable with our children and express that we, too, experience moments of doubt and disbelief. We need to be careful not to oversell our faith and not to describe the Christian life as free from all difficulty. After all, the Bible emphasises both the joys and the suffering that come to those who believe.

We need to be honest with our children about our own experiences of doubt and disbelief. We need to show them that we, too, sometimes wish for answers that God has not provided. We need to be careful not to oversell our faith or to describe the Christian life as free from difficulty. Instead, we should emphasise that the Bible talks about both the joys and the suffering that come to those who believe.

We also need to be careful not to give our children the impression that following Christ will make them happy all the time. Instead, we should teach them that true joy comes from knowing and obeying God, even when life is hard. We should help them see that the Christian life is not about feeling good all the time but about glorifying God and enjoying him forever.

Finally, we should encourage our children to seek out Christian community and to find friends and mentors who can support and encourage them in their faith. We should also make sure that they understand the gospel clearly and that they have personally put their faith in Jesus Christ for salvation.

Faith-Filled Pages: A Journal's Journey

You may want to see also

shunspirit

They allow other things to take priority

Christianity is not always rejected outright by those who leave the faith. Sometimes, it is simply displaced by other passions, concerns, or interests. For instance, some may commit themselves to success in business, allowing their faith to take a back seat. Others may pursue sports and find it more exciting and fulfilling than their faith. Some may go through trials or torments and, in the midst of their troubles, find that their faith has fallen by the wayside.

In any case, faith, once an important part of their lives, fades into the background. It is less that these people reject their faith and more that they lose interest in it or even forget about it.

To prevent this, parents can emphasise the centrality of the local church to the Christian life. However, this must be done without allowing it to tip over into legalism. The community of Christians can offer children friends and mentors—even, or especially, older ones—who can supplement, complement, or even correct parental training. Children can learn that they, like their parents, need a place to belong, a place where they can both serve and be served.

Radical Faith: What Does It Truly Mean?

You may want to see also

shunspirit

They never personally owned their faith

One of the primary reasons for the youth exodus from the church is that they never personally owned their faith. Their faith was an offshoot of their parents' spiritual journey. They never contended with the ideas of men and women, nor did they learn how to overcome. And when faced with worldly ideals backed by popular secular ideology, the faith of these young people couldn't stand.

  • Let your kids see you wrestle with your faith. Be vulnerable and show them that you, too, experience moments of doubt and disbelief.
  • Invite your children to wrestle with you. Look for opportunities to build their faith by wrestling for something big together.
  • Encourage your kids to wrestle with the Scriptures. Have challenging conversations with them about the tough topics in the light of Scripture.
  • Encourage your kids to wrestle with your culture. When you encounter secular ideology, pause and have a conversation with your kids. Ask them what the culture says about the family, sexuality, gender, attraction, marriage, morality, and human nature. Then, ask them what Scripture says.
  • Join your kids as they wrestle for their faith. Look for situations in their lives where you can join them in wrestling with God and the Scriptures for what they need.
  • Wrestle for your kids in prayer. Pray for truth and revelation to saturate their minds and for them to become discerning of the enemy's lies.

shunspirit

They find the church to be antagonistic to science

Christian kids are leaving the faith because they find the church to be antagonistic to science. This is a significant concern for young Christians, with three out of ten feeling that "churches are out of step with the scientific world we live in". A quarter of young adults from Christian backgrounds feel that "Christianity is anti-science", and a similar number say they have "been turned off by the creation-versus-evolution debate".

The perception that Christians are "too confident they know all the answers" is also off-putting to young people. They want their faith to connect with the world they live in and feel that much of their experience of Christianity is "stifling, fear-based and risk-averse". This perception is reinforced by the belief that Christians "demonize everything outside of the church" and that the "church ignores the problems of the real world".

The tension between Christianity and science is a critical issue for many young Christians, particularly those pursuing careers in science-related industries. They are struggling to reconcile their beliefs with their professional calling and feel that the church is not offering compelling answers to tough questions about science.

The creation-versus-evolution debate is a significant turn-off for many young Christians, who find it simplistic and outdated. They want their faith to engage with modern scientific understanding and offer a cohesive and compelling worldview that accounts for scientific discoveries.

The perception that Christianity is anti-science or out of step with modern scientific knowledge is driving young people away from the church. They feel that the church is not providing satisfactory answers to their questions and that its responses to scientific discoveries are unreasonable, unrealistic, or just plain wrong. As a result, they are opting for "intellectual honesty" and looking elsewhere for answers that better align with their understanding of the world.

To address this issue, it is essential to engage with young people's difficult questions about science and show how Christianity offers a coherent and compelling worldview that accounts for scientific discoveries. It is crucial to demonstrate that faith and science can coexist and that Christianity is not antagonistic to scientific inquiry.

By encouraging open dialogue, providing thoughtful responses, and helping young people integrate their faith with their understanding of the world, we can help them find a place where faith and science can coexist and flourish together.

Frequently asked questions

They leave because they have troubling, unanswered questions about the faith.

Questions related to science, suffering, sexuality, and other crucial subjects.

Their faith is not working for them. They are not able to find the peace, joy, or meaning that the Christian faith claims to offer them.

They allow other things to take priority. Their faith gets displaced by competing passions, concerns, or emphases.

They never personally owned their faith. They were merely conforming to the desires or expectations of other people, of parents, peers, or pastors.

Written by
  • Aisha
  • Aisha
    Author Editor Reviewer
Reviewed by
Share this post
Print
Did this article help you?

Leave a comment