Meditation is a practice of focus that can help you form habits, become more peaceful, and develop a better understanding of your mind. It is not about turning off your mind or zoning out, but rather about establishing a healthier relationship with your thoughts and learning to observe them without judgment. When meditating, it is important to be gentle and kind to yourself, recognizing that it is normal for your mind to wander. While there are various meditation techniques, here are some things you can say to yourself to guide your practice:
- Monitor your breathing: Focus your attention on your breaths. If your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to your breath.
- Connect with your body: Pay attention to the physical sensations in your body. Start at your head and work your way down to your toes, listening to what your body is saying.
- Live in the present moment: Bring your attention to the present moment and live in the now.
- Acknowledge your emotions: Explore your emotions and emotional triggers. If you are feeling negative emotions, try to bring yourself back to a positive feeling.
- Practice compassion and forgiveness: Think about the people you love and send them goodwill. For those who have wronged you, practice forgiveness and let go of any bitterness or animosity.
- Set intentions and visualize your goals: Reflect on your goals and accomplishments, and set intentions for what you want to achieve.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Monitor your breathing | Focus on your breath |
Putting focus on your body | Feel the physical sensations in your body |
Think about the now | Live in the moment |
Emotions and emotional triggers | Identify your emotions and their triggers |
Compassion and forgiveness | Forgive those who have wronged you |
Your goals and accomplishments | Feel challenged and excited by your goals |
Be kind towards everybody | Spread thoughts of goodwill to everyone |
Thank God for everything you have | Be grateful for what you have |
Remind yourself that you are an ordinary, simple person | Let go of your ego |
What You'll Learn
Monitor your breathing
When meditating, monitoring your breathing is an important aspect of the practice. It helps you to focus your mind and relax your body, alleviating stress. There are a few techniques you can use to monitor your breathing effectively.
Firstly, establish a breathing technique that works for you. You can try inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth, or you can use your mouth for both inhaling and exhaling. Experiment with different techniques to find what feels most comfortable for you.
Once you have established your breathing technique, focus on regulating your breath. Aim for consistent intervals between your inhales and exhales to create a steady rhythm. This may take some practice, but over time, this rhythmic breathing will come naturally to you during meditation.
You can also use mantras or personalized words to help you establish a breathing rhythm. For example, you could try saying a word or phrase to yourself as you inhale and then again as you exhale. This can help to create order and harmony in your meditation practice.
Additionally, you can try different types of breathing techniques to find what works best for you. Easy breathing involves inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the nose or slightly parted lips. Deep breathing involves inhaling and exhaling through the nose, with the option to occasionally exhale through the mouth. Ocean breathing involves inhaling through pursed lips and then exhaling through the mouth, eventually alternating between the mouth and nose. Experiment with these techniques to find what helps you relax and focus during meditation.
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Focus on your body
Focusing on your body is a great way to start your meditation practice. It can help you become more aware of your physical sensations, emotions, and feelings. It is also an excellent way to release physical tension that you might not even realise you are experiencing.
To begin, get into a comfortable position. You can sit upright on a chair, or on the floor with a cushion or block to support you. If you are sitting on a chair, sit right on the edge, relaxing into your pelvic bones with your feet on the floor. If you are sitting on a cushion on the floor, make sure your thighs are relaxed and your spine is straight. Lying down is also an option, especially if you are doing a body scan meditation before sleep.
Now, relax your body. Loosen your shoulders and breathe from your belly. You can cross your legs if that is more comfortable for you, as long as you can fully relax without falling asleep. Take a few deep breaths and let your breathing slow down. Breathe from your belly, and if you find your shoulders rising and falling with each breath, focus on breathing from your abdomen.
Next, bring your attention to your feet and slowly move upwards. Begin observing sensations in your feet. If you notice any pain or discomfort, acknowledge it and gently breathe through it. If you notice any tense muscles or physical discomfort, focus your attention on these areas and breathe into them. Visualise the tension leaving your body with each breath.
Continue this practice as you gradually move your attention up through your body, until you reach the top of your head. Notice how you feel and where you are holding any tension. Keep breathing into any tightness, pain, or pressure you are feeling. This will help you release tension in your body and become more aware of physical sensations and feelings.
Remember, the goal is not to completely relieve any pain or discomfort, but to get to know and learn from it so that you can better manage it. This practice will help you become more aware of your body and improve your ability to respond to physical discomfort connected to your emotional states.
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Live in the present moment
Living in the present moment is an effective way to reduce stress and anxiety and increase happiness. It can be difficult to achieve, but there are many ways to train yourself to live in the present.
Be Mindful of Your Surroundings
Take a moment to stop and look around you. Notice the walls, the floor, the ceiling. How many windows are there? How many lights can you count? Taking in your surroundings helps to ground you in the present moment.
Focus on One Thing at a Time
Multitasking can make it hard to live in the present. Instead, focus your full attention on one task at a time. You will find that you are more productive, and it is easier to stay in the present.
Be Grateful
Focus on the things you are grateful for in your life right now. Write a list of three things you are grateful for and review it daily. This will help you to appreciate what you have now, rather than focusing on the past or future.
Practice Mindfulness Meditation
Meditation is a practice that helps you to become more aware of the present moment. It can be as simple as taking a few moments to centre yourself and focus on your breath. Try tapping your thumb to your index finger, or your hand to your leg, to remind yourself to come back to the present.
Do Things You're Passionate About
Find an activity that helps you to enter a flow state, where you are so focused and engaged that you lose track of time. This could be running, fixing cars, painting, dancing, or any number of other activities. Doing something you are passionate about will help you to stay in the present moment.
Go for a Nature Walk
Being in nature is a great way to live in the present moment. Take a walk without your phone or music, and simply observe the beauty of the natural environment. You could also try finding a spot in nature to sit down and relax.
Practice Deep Breathing
Taking a moment to focus on your breath can help to calm your mind and bring you back to the present moment. Try the 4-7-8 breathing technique: breathe in for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of seven, and breathe out for a count of eight.
Limit Social Media and Technology
Constantly checking social media and other technology can prevent you from being mindful of the present moment. Try to limit your use of technology, especially when you are spending time with other people. Focus on the people and environment around you instead.
Improve Your Physical Health
Exercise helps to reduce the fight-or-flight response that can trigger anxiety about the future. It also improves your mental health and can help you to stay in the present moment. Even a short walk or some basic yoga poses can help.
Be Kind
Kindness is a right-brain activity that can help to reduce negative thinking. Doing acts of kindness for others can help you to live in the present and shape a positive future.
Practice Acceptance
Accept things as they are, rather than how you want them to be. You cannot control everything, and practising acceptance will help you to let go of the things that are out of your control.
Notice Sensory Details
In your daily routine, try to stop and take note of the sensory details of the task at hand. For example, if you are out for a walk, stop to listen to the birds singing or the wind blowing the trees. This will help you to be more mindful and present.
Practice Gratitude
Practising gratitude can help you to focus on the present moment. Try writing in a gratitude journal, or take a moment during your day to think about the things you are grateful for. This will help you to focus on the positives in your life.
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Recognise and accept your emotions
Recognising and accepting your emotions is a crucial aspect of meditation. It is not about turning off your mind or suppressing your emotions but rather embracing them and understanding them. Here are some tips to help you recognise and accept your emotions during meditation:
Allow Yourself to Feel
Meditation provides a space for you to fully experience your emotions. Instead of pushing them down or ignoring them, allow yourself to feel them. Emotions are a natural part of being human, and they provide valuable information about ourselves and our surroundings. Try to observe your emotions without judgment and see them as friends rather than intruders.
Understand the Transient Nature of Emotions
Emotions are not permanent; they come in waves and are constantly changing. When you feel overwhelmed by an emotion, remind yourself that it will pass. Meditation teaches you to stay with the difficulty and turn towards it instead of pushing it away. By doing so, you can develop resilience and learn to navigate through the highs and lows of your emotional landscape.
Be Gentle and Compassionate with Yourself
It is important to approach your emotions with gentleness and compassion. Instead of judging or criticising yourself for having certain emotions, treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Speak to yourself with the same compassion you would offer to a friend. Acknowledge that it is okay to feel whatever you are feeling, and be patient with yourself throughout the process.
Identify the Physical Sensations
Emotions are often accompanied by physical sensations in the body. For example, anger may manifest as a clenched fist or jaw, while sadness may be felt as heaviness in the chest. Pay attention to these physical sensations and use them as anchors to stay present with your emotions. Notice how the emotions move through your body and how they change over time.
Separate Thoughts from Emotions
Emotions are often intertwined with thoughts, and it can be challenging to distinguish between the two. Try to observe the thoughts that arise during an emotional state without getting caught up in them. Recognise that thoughts are just thoughts, and they may not always reflect reality. Focus on the underlying energy of the emotion rather than the thoughts that accompany it.
Practice Mindfulness of Emotions
You can use specific mindfulness techniques to recognise and accept your emotions. One such technique is RAIN, which stands for Recognise, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture. It involves recognising the emotion, allowing it to be present, investigating it with curiosity, and nurturing yourself with compassion. Another technique is to use a meditation object, such as the breath, to anchor yourself while observing emotions without getting swept away by them.
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Practise forgiveness and compassion
Forgiveness is a key part of meditation. It is a way to release yourself from the sorrows of the past. It is important to note that forgiveness does not justify or condone harmful actions. Instead, it is a way to let go of the pain, resentment and outrage that you have carried for so long.
Forgiveness is a process and it can take time. It will go through many stages – grief, rage, sorrow, fear and confusion. It is important to let yourself feel the pain you carry, and to be honest about your feelings. You can then begin to see that forgiveness is an act of self-compassion.
Forgiveness is not passive, but an active gesture of releasing feelings like anger, guilt and resentment. It reminds us that we are not the same as the feelings we possess in a given situation, nor is the person who we’ve harmed or who has harmed us.
A forgiveness meditation
- Sit comfortably, allowing your eyes to close and your breath to be natural and easy. Let your body and mind relax.
- Let yourself feel all the barriers you have erected and the emotions that you have carried because you have not forgiven – not forgiven yourself, not forgiven others.
- Begin asking for and extending forgiveness, reciting the following phrases:
- Forgiveness of others: "There are many ways that I have hurt and harmed others, have betrayed or abandoned them, caused them suffering, knowingly or unknowingly, out of my pain, fear, anger and confusion. I ask for your forgiveness, I ask for your forgiveness."
- Forgiveness for yourself: "There are many ways that I have hurt and harmed myself. I have betrayed or abandoned myself many times through thought, word, or deed, knowingly or unknowingly. I forgive myself, I forgive myself."
- Forgiveness for those who have hurt you: "There are many ways that I have been harmed by others, abused or abandoned, knowingly or unknowingly, in thought, word or deed. I have carried this pain in my heart too long. To the extent that I am ready, I offer them forgiveness. To those who have caused me harm, I offer my forgiveness, I forgive you."
- Repeat these phrases until you feel a release in your heart.
Self-forgiveness
Self-forgiveness is a powerful tool that can help you achieve inner balance and peace. It is a crucial component of self-love, but it can be one of the hardest things to do. It is the conscious act of recognizing your wrongdoings, accepting responsibility, and extending compassion and understanding toward yourself.
- Acceptance: Embrace your imperfections and view yourself with a more compassionate lens.
- Reflection: Reflect on the factors that contributed to your past mistakes to gain insights into the patterns that led to your actions.
- Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, letting go of harsh self-criticism and judgement.
- Apology and amends: When necessary, offer sincere apologies to others. Also, apologize to yourself for any guilt or shame you've been feeling.
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Frequently asked questions
Start small and don't worry about doing it perfectly. Begin with just two minutes a day for a week, and gradually increase the time.
Find a quiet and comfortable place to sit. You can sit on a chair, on your bed, or on the ground cross-legged. Take a few minutes to unwind and transition into your meditation practice.
Focus on your breathing. If your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to your breath. You can also focus on your body, the present moment, your emotions, and your goals.
Acknowledge your thoughts without judging them. Label your thoughts as "thinking" and then gently bring your attention back to your breath. Be kind and gentle with yourself.
You can try spreading thoughts of goodwill and compassion towards yourself and others. Remind yourself to be thankful for the things you have and cultivate a sense of gratitude. Let go of any animosity or hatred and foster a feeling of love and kindness.