The Complex Question Of Forgiveness And Sin

Whether or not it is a sin to not forgive is a question that sparks fear and anxiety in many. While some believe that Jesus' teachings on forgiveness are a condition for salvation, others argue that our salvation is based solely on God's forgiveness of our sins through the work of Jesus Christ. According to the Bible, Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15 that if we forgive others, our heavenly Father will forgive us, but if we do not forgive, our Father will not forgive our transgressions. However, this seems to contradict the belief that our salvation is based on faith alone. Interpreting these verses, some suggest that Jesus is referring to earthly relationships and consequences rather than eternal outcomes. Ultimately, forgiveness is a complex topic within Christianity, and different denominations may interpret these teachings differently.

Jesus' teachings on forgiveness

Jesus taught that forgiveness is of paramount importance. He often spoke about forgiveness, directly or through parables, and his teachings were counter-cultural for his time, just as they are today.

Jesus summarised the entire Old Testament law in two directives:

> “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37).

> “Love your neighbour as yourself” (Matthew 22:39).

Jesus taught that love requires forgiveness. He instructed his followers to forgive those who have wronged them and to pray for those who mistreat them. In the Lord's Prayer, he taught his disciples to ask for forgiveness "as we forgive those who trespass against us".

Jesus taught that forgiveness should be given freely and wholeheartedly. When asked how many times a person must forgive their brother, Peter suggested seven times, a significant number as seven represents perfection in the Bible. However, Jesus responded that forgiveness should be given not seven times but seventy-seven times, or seventy times seven. This number is symbolic of an infinite, never-ending willingness to forgive.

Jesus demonstrated forgiveness in his own life. He forgave those who sinned against him, even those who mocked, beat, and crucified him. As he hung on the cross, he forgave the repentant criminal, saying, "Today you will be with me in paradise" (Luke 23:43). After his resurrection, he forgave his disciples, who had deserted him, greeting them with "Peace be with you" (John 20:19,21,26).

Jesus taught that forgiveness is a choice. He asked his disciples to continue his forgiveness ministry, telling Peter, "Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven" (Matthew 16:19).

The Lord's judgement vs our judgement

The Lord's judgement is perfect, as He has a perfect view of people's hearts and circumstances, and judgement belongs to Him alone. He will ultimately deal out perfect justice and mercy to all, both the wrongdoers and the wronged.

In the Lord's prayer, Jesus taught His followers to ask God to "forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors". He further clarifies this in Matthew 6:14-15: "For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions." Jesus equates the forgiveness of God with the forgiveness we extend to others.

However, this does not mean that our salvation is dependent on our works or that God's forgiveness is earned by our forgiveness of others. Rather, it is a demonstration of our faith and our understanding of the forgiveness we have received from Christ. Our eternal salvation is secured by our faith in Christ alone, and God's grace is greater than our sin.

When we withhold forgiveness, we place our limited and imperfect judgement above the Lord's perfect judgement. We are called to forgive others as an act of obedience and as a reflection of God's love and grace towards us. By requiring us to forgive, the Lord helps us to choose happiness and healing over bitterness and resentment.

In summary, the Lord's judgement is perfect and just, and He calls us to forgive others as He has forgiven us. Our salvation is not dependent on our works, but our willingness to forgive is a reflection of our faith and obedience.

The relationship between forgiveness and salvation

The act of forgiveness is a central tenet of Christianity, and its relationship with salvation is a complex and nuanced topic. While some interpret Jesus' teachings as implying that forgiveness of others is a prerequisite for salvation, others argue that salvation is based solely on faith in Christ's sacrifice.

Jesus' teachings on forgiveness are recorded in several passages in the Bible, including the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:12) and the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18:21-35). In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus says, "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your trespasses." This passage seems to suggest a direct link between forgiving others and receiving forgiveness from God. A similar interpretation is found in Matthew 18:35, where Jesus says, "My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive your brother from your heart."

However, some theologians argue that these teachings should be understood in the context of the Old Covenant, which was based on obedience to the law, rather than the New Covenant of grace established by Jesus' death and resurrection. Under the New Covenant, salvation is understood to be a gift from God, received through faith in Jesus Christ, as stated in Ephesians 2:8-9, "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast."

Furthermore, it is important to distinguish between earthly and eternal consequences when discussing forgiveness and salvation. While withholding forgiveness may impact our earthly relationships and fellowship with God, it does not alter our eternal salvation, which is secured by faith in Christ alone. As humans, we have no power over the eternal fate of others, and only God can forgive sins in eternity. The Bible teaches that our sins may still bring earthly consequences, and God may choose to discipline us to lead us back to a godly walk with Him.

In conclusion, the relationship between forgiveness and salvation is complex. While Jesus' teachings emphasize the importance of forgiving others, the ultimate basis for salvation is faith in Christ's atoning sacrifice, not our own works. Our willingness to forgive others may impact our earthly relationships and fellowship with God, but it does not determine our eternal salvation.

The role of revenge in forgiveness

Forgiveness is a complex and deeply personal process that varies depending on the nature of the wrongdoing and the relationship between the wronged and wrongdoer. While forgiving can have positive effects on the wronged person, it is not always easy to achieve, and the idea of forgiving can initially create more tension.

In the context of bullying, for instance, a study by Macquarie University found that forgiveness was the most stressful of three outcomes (the others being avoidance and revenge). Participants in the study who imagined forgiving their bully calmed down more slowly than those who imagined taking revenge. This finding suggests that forgiveness may involve directly facing the hurt, which can be a challenging and stressful process.

However, this is not to say that revenge is a healthier or more beneficial response. While seeking revenge may provide a sense of empowerment or retribution, it does not address the negative emotions or hurt caused by the wrongdoing. In fact, the Macquarie University study found that participants who imagined taking revenge experienced a decrease in their sense of empowerment, self-esteem, and belief in their ability to cope with the bullying.

Additionally, choosing revenge over forgiveness can hinder our ability to restore our sense of humanity. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that participants who wrote a letter of forgiveness towards someone who had wronged them reported higher levels of self-humanity and a lower inclination towards self-harm compared to those who wrote a revenge letter.

From a religious perspective, the act of forgiving is often encouraged as a way to choose happiness over misery and abandon bitter grudges and resentments. In Christianity, for example, Jesus is quoted as saying that if we do not forgive others, God will not forgive our sins. However, it is important to note that this does not imply a two-step system where our eternal destiny is tied to our ability to forgive. Instead, it may indicate that someone who refuses to forgive has yet to receive forgiveness in their own lives.

Ultimately, the decision to forgive or seek revenge is a personal one, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. While forgiveness can have benefits for the wronged person, it is not always easy or possible, especially in cases of severe wrongdoing. In such cases, it may be more realistic to focus on establishing boundaries and choosing to move on rather than seeking revenge or forcing forgiveness.

The emotional challenges of forgiveness

Forgiveness is a complex phenomenon that involves overcoming emotional challenges and making a conscious decision to let go of negative feelings towards someone who has wronged you. It is important to note that forgiveness does not mean forgetting, condoning, or excusing the offense. Instead, it is about choosing to offer compassion and empathy, which can bring peace of mind and improved emotional and physical health. Here are some of the emotional challenges that one may face when navigating the path of forgiveness:

• Confronting painful emotions: Forgiveness requires acknowledging and processing painful emotions such as anger, resentment, and hurt. It can be emotionally challenging to confront these feelings and reflect on the impact of the offense.
• Letting go of negative feelings: Releasing negative emotions such as vengeance, bitterness, and hostility is crucial to forgiveness. However, this can be emotionally difficult, especially if the hurt is deep and the offender hasn't apologized or shown remorse.
• Empathizing with the offender: Understanding the perspective and motivations of the person who wronged you can facilitate forgiveness. This may include considering their life circumstances, background, or any underlying issues that may have contributed to their actions.
• Navigating the path of forgiveness: True forgiveness is often a gradual process and may not happen instantly. It requires time, energy, and a willingness to engage in self-reflection and empathy. Overcoming barriers to forgiveness, such as fears of vulnerability or concerns about justice, is an important aspect of this journey.
• Managing expectations: When forgiving someone, it is important to let go of expectations, such as receiving an apology or restoring the relationship to its previous state. Accepting that the relationship may not return to how it was before and setting realistic expectations can help navigate the emotional challenges of forgiveness.
• Forgiving without reconciliation: Forgiveness does not always lead to reconciliation or a return to the previous relationship dynamic. It is possible to forgive someone without condoning their actions or releasing them from legal accountability. Separating the act of forgiveness from the desire for justice or reconciliation can be emotionally challenging.
• Self-forgiveness: In some cases, the emotional challenge of forgiveness involves forgiving oneself. Self-forgiveness can be a difficult process, as it requires confronting one's own mistakes, failures, or actions that caused harm to oneself or others. It is important to extend compassion and empathy to oneself during this process.

Forgiveness is a courageous act that can lead to personal growth, improved well-being, and healthier relationships. However, it is important to acknowledge and address the emotional challenges that arise during this process. By doing so, individuals can make meaningful progress toward true forgiveness and experience the associated benefits in their lives.

Frequently asked questions