Making Out Before Marriage: Sin Or Not?

The Bible does not explicitly mention kissing or making out before marriage, but it does refer to kissing as a ritual shared among close family members or friends to show affection or greet each other. However, the Bible also states that whatever we do should be done to glorify God, and this includes kissing.

Kissing or making out before marriage can lead to lustful thoughts and sexual immorality, which the Bible tells us to flee from. If kissing causes an individual to stumble into sexual sin or triggers temptation, it should be avoided.

Making out involves open-mouth kissing and the release of happy hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, which can lead to sexual arousal and stimulation. God created sex to bond a husband and wife together in marriage, but our bodies can also form attachments through other physical activities like kissing.

Ultimately, the decision to kiss before marriage is a personal one, and individuals should follow their convictions and respect their partner's boundaries. However, it is important to be cautious and avoid anything that may lead to temptation or sexual sin.

Is making out before marriage a sin?

The Bible does not explicitly mention making out before marriage, but it does refer to kissing as a ritual shared among close family members or friends to show affection or greet each other. For example, in 1 Peter, believers are told to "greet one another with the kiss of love".

However, the Bible also warns against lust and sexual immorality, instructing followers to "flee from sexual immorality and lustful desires". If making out stimulates lust or leads to sexual immorality, it is considered a sin and should be avoided.

The Bible also states that sexual relations belong only within the "safe, holy, beautiful sanctuary of a marriage covenant between one man, one woman, while they both live".

Making out can cause the release of chemicals in the brain, such as oxytocin and dopamine, often referred to as the "love hormone", which can lead to feelings of affection and attachment. Romantic kissing or making out can also lead to sexual arousal, which is why some people believe it is best to avoid making out before marriage to honour God and avoid temptation.

Ultimately, the decision to kiss or make out before marriage is a personal one, and individuals should follow their convictions and intentions. If there are any doubts or temptations, it is generally advised to wait until marriage to avoid sinning.

What does the Bible say about making out before marriage?

The Bible does not explicitly refer to making out before marriage, but it does provide examples of kissing shared among family members and friends to show affection or greet each other. For instance, in 1 Peter, believers are told to "greet one another with the kiss of love". Similarly, in 1 Samuel, David and Jonathan kiss each other as friends. Kissing is also mentioned in the Bible as a way for family members to show love and affection.

However, when it comes to kissing in the context of dating or before marriage, the Bible offers little direct guidance. Some Christians interpret this to mean that kissing someone you are dating may not be a sin if done in the right context and with the right intentions.

The Bible does, however, provide clear guidelines on lust and sexual immorality, instructing believers to "flee from sexual immorality and lustful desires". If kissing stimulates lust or leads to sexual immorality, it is considered a sin and should be avoided.

Making out, or French kissing, involves open-mouth kissing with tongue involvement, and can cause a chemical reaction in the brain, including a release of the "love hormone" oxytocin, as well as dopamine and testosterone. These hormones can stir up feelings of affection and attachment, making it difficult to stop and leading to sexual arousal and the craving for more physical activity.

Therefore, while the Bible does not explicitly mention making out before marriage, it can be interpreted that such behaviour could lead to lust and sexual immorality, which are considered sins. As such, it is recommended that couples avoid making out before marriage to honour God and their future spouse.

What are the consequences of making out before marriage?

The consequences of making out before marriage can vary depending on cultural, religious, and personal beliefs. While some view premarital physical intimacy as a sin, others see it as a personal choice. Here are some potential consequences of engaging in physical intimacy before marriage:

Emotional and Physical Well-being

Premarital physical intimacy can lead to emotional and physical complications. Emotionally, it can create deep bonds that are difficult to break, resulting in heartache and confusion if the relationship ends. Additionally, it can shift the focus of a relationship from emotional connection to physical intimacy. Physically, it exposes individuals to the risks of sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancies.

Honoring Marriage

Abstaining from physical intimacy before marriage honors the sanctity of the marriage covenant. Hebrews 13:4 emphasizes, "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." By waiting until marriage, individuals uphold the purity and honor of the marriage bed.

Spiritual Significance

Sex is designed by God to be a profound expression of love and unity between a husband and wife. Genesis 2:24 says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." This union reflects the intimate relationship between Christ and the Church, highlighting its spiritual significance (Ephesians 5:31-32). Engaging in premarital physical intimacy can detract from the spiritual significance of the marriage union.

Body as a Temple

The Bible teaches that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Participating in premarital physical intimacy defiles this temple, as it goes against God's design for sexual purity. 1 Corinthians 6:18 states, "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body." Engaging in physical intimacy before marriage is considered sinning against one's own body.

Emotional Attachment and Clouded Judgment

Physical intimacy before marriage can create a strong emotional attachment, potentially clouding judgment and decision-making. This intense emotional bond may hinder the ability to assess the relationship's compatibility objectively. If the emotional connection is primarily based on physical intimacy, it can be challenging to build a balanced and well-rounded connection.

Impact on Self-Esteem

Premarital physical intimacy can impact self-esteem, especially if the experience is negative or doesn't meet expectations. Feelings of guilt, shame, or regret can arise, affecting an individual's self-worth and overall confidence.

Pressure to Continue

Once a physical relationship is established, there may be pressure, whether from societal norms or emotional connection, to continue the intimacy. This pressure can make it difficult for individuals to express changing feelings or desires, as they may fear disappointing or hurting their partner.

Guilt and Regret

If premarital physical intimacy conflicts with personal values, it can lead to complex emotions like guilt and regret. Open communication about expectations and feelings is essential to navigate these potential consequences.

What does the Bible say about sexual immorality?

The Bible uses the word "porneia" to refer to sexual immorality, which is also translated as "whoredom", "fornication", and "idolatry". It means "a surrendering of sexual purity" and refers to any sexual expression outside the boundaries of a biblically defined marriage relationship. This includes premarital sex, adultery, prostitution, and homosexual relations.

The Bible warns against sexual immorality in several verses, such as Acts 15:20, and provides consequences for those who engage in it. For example, Exodus 34:7 states that while God forgives iniquity, rebellion, and sin, He does not excuse the guilty. The Bible also makes it clear that those who persist in unrepentant immorality and impurity cannot come into the presence of God.

Sexual immorality is considered a sin because it goes against the nature of sex, marriage, and the family. Marriage is a covenant bond between a man and a woman, sealed by the one-flesh union of sexual intimacy. When couples engage in premarital sex, they are enjoying the benefits of the covenant without formally entering into it.

The Bible provides guidelines for avoiding sexual immorality, such as fleeing from it (1 Corinthians 6:18) and not associating with sexually immoral people (1 Corinthians 5:11). It also emphasizes the importance of maintaining sexual purity and honoring marriage (Hebrews 13:4).

What does the Bible say about lust?

The Bible speaks of lust in several ways. Lust is a temptation and an evil that overcomes many in the modern world. It is an intense or unrestrained craving, or an overwhelming desire. Lust is about possession and greed, and it often leads to unwholesome actions to fulfill one's desires with no regard to the consequences.

The Bible offers guidance on how to overcome lust, encouraging people to recognize its evil intent and repent from selfish passion. It also advises people to pray for strength in times of temptation and to cast their weakness and sin onto God's mercy.

• Exodus 20:14, 17 (NLT): "Do not commit adultery... Do not covet your neighbor's house. Do not covet your neighbor's wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor."
• Matthew 5:28: "But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
• 1 John 2:16: "For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world."
• Galatians 5:16: "But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh."
• Colossians 3:5: "Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry."
• 1 Peter 5:8: "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."
• 2 Timothy 2:22: "So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart."
• 1 Corinthians 6:18: "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body."
• Proverbs 6:25: "Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes."
• 1 Peter 2:11: "Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul."

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