Meditation For The Unwilling

How to Meditate When You Don't Like To

Meditation is a practice that has gained popularity in recent years, with many people extolling its virtues and recommending it to others. However, it can be challenging for some people to get started with meditation or to stick with it as a regular habit. If you're someone who doesn't particularly enjoy meditating, there are several reasons why you might feel this way and strategies you can use to make it easier.

One common barrier to meditation is the belief that it is boring or uninteresting. This perception may be due to expectations or attitudes towards meditation. Approaching meditation without expectations and an open mind can help make the experience more enjoyable. Additionally, finding a form of meditation that suits your needs and tastes is crucial; there are various types of meditation, such as walking meditation, martial arts, or listening to music mindfully.

Another challenge is the feeling that meditation is too hard, especially for those who believe they need to fight their thoughts or empty their minds. However, the goal of meditation is not to stop thinking but to notice thoughts and let them pass without judgement. Labelling thoughts as thinking and then returning to the breath can be a helpful technique.

Finding the time to meditate can also be difficult, especially for busy individuals. However, meditation does not have to take up a lot of time; even a one-minute breathing exercise or a short guided meditation can be beneficial. Adding meditation to an existing routine, such as after a morning alarm or while brushing teeth, can help make it a habit.

Lastly, some people may feel restless, uncomfortable, or overwhelmed when trying to meditate. It's important to remember that these feelings are normal and that meditation is a practice that takes time to master. Being kind to yourself and your mind is crucial during meditation.

By understanding and addressing these challenges, you can make meditation a more enjoyable and accessible practice, even if you don't initially like it.

You don't need to sit still

Meditation is often associated with sitting still, but it doesn't always have to be that way. Walking meditation, for instance, involves focusing on your strides and the movement of taking steps, calming your mind. Walking in a labyrinth is a centuries-old practice of contemplation common among many spiritual faiths, including Catholicism.

If you're more inclined to physical activity, you could try martial arts forms such as kata or tai chi, which are so complex that they require profound focus, leaving no room for extraneous thoughts. Yoga is another option.

You can also try listening mindfully to music, especially music without lyrics. This can transport you away from stray thoughts, much like meditation.

Daily task meditation is another option. This involves taking a process like doing the dishes, cooking a meal, or getting dressed, and focusing on it with the same attention a kung fu master might give to their forms.

Meditation is about observation and awareness, and this can be achieved through movement as well as stillness.

Keep it brief

There is no minimum number of minutes you must meditate for. One conscious breath is better than none. One minute is better than none. If you're just beginning, it can help to choose a short time, such as five or ten minutes. Even seasoned pros experience the same distractions as beginners.

If you're struggling to fit meditation into your day, try adding it to an existing routine. For example, you could try meditating every time you stop your morning alarm, get out of the shower, brush your teeth, make coffee, or get into bed.

If you're still having trouble sitting still or managing racing thoughts, try slowing down in the minutes before meditation to help your mind unwind. After running around all day, it's difficult for the mind and body to instantly become still.

Find a comfortable position

Finding a comfortable position is essential for meditation. Here are some tips to help you get started:

• Choose a spot where you can hold an alert and stable sitting position for a while. Sitting at the front of a chair can help you maintain a straight back, and slightly tucking your chin will lengthen your spine.
• If you need more support, feel free to add a cushion to your chair. Alternatively, you can move to a couch or lie down, as long as you're not feeling sleepy.
• If you still feel restless, know that it's natural. When we slow down, we become more aware of sensations in our body. Commit to finishing the meditation session unless there is intense pain.
• Acknowledge the urge to move or get up without judgment or trying to change it. Simply bring your focus back to your breath.
• If you're having trouble sitting still, try slowing down in the minutes leading up to your meditation practice. This will help your mind unwind and prepare for stillness.
• Experiment with different meditation positions, such as sitting on the floor, sitting cross-legged, or kneeling. Find the position that works best for you and allows you to remain stable and comfortable.

Try different types of meditation

There are many different types of meditation, so if you don't like one, it's worth trying another. Here are some options:

Walking meditation

Walking meditation involves focusing on your strides and the movement of taking steps, rather than on your breath. Walking in a labyrinth is a centuries-old practice of contemplation common among many spiritual faiths, including Catholicism.

Kata

Kata is the formal practice of martial arts, including tai chi. The motions are so complex that it becomes impossible to think of other things, allowing for profound meditative focus.

Music meditation

Listening mindfully to music, especially music without lyrics, can be meditative by allowing you to be transported by the sounds, away from stray and extraneous thoughts.

Daily task meditation

This involves taking a daily task, like doing the dishes, and focusing on it in the same way a kung fu master might focus on their forms.

Loving-kindness meditation

This type of meditation is used to strengthen feelings of compassion, kindness, and acceptance toward oneself and others. It involves opening the mind to receive love from others and then sending well wishes to loved ones, friends, acquaintances, and all living beings.

Guided meditation

Guided meditation is particularly useful for beginners. A teacher guides you through the basic steps of the practice, either in person or via a meditation app. Most guided meditations follow a similar format: the teacher explains how the mind behaves during meditation, leads you through a particular meditation technique, and then suggests how to integrate this technique into your everyday life.

Mindfulness meditation

Mindfulness meditation originates from Buddhist teachings and is the most popular and researched form of meditation in the West. In mindfulness meditation, you pay attention to your thoughts as they pass through your mind. You don’t judge the thoughts or become involved with them. You simply observe and take note of any patterns.

Spiritual meditation

Spiritual meditation is used in nearly all religions and spiritual traditions. It focuses on developing a deeper understanding of spiritual/religious meaning and connection with a higher power. Examples include Christian contemplative prayer, Sufi dhikr (remembrance of God), and Jewish kabbalistic practices.

Focused meditation

Focused meditation involves concentration using any of the five senses. For example, you can focus on something internal, like your breath, or you can bring in external influences to help focus your attention, such as staring at a candle flame or counting your breaths.

Movement meditation

This is an active form of meditation where the movement guides you into a deeper connection with your body and the present moment. It can include yoga or other gentle forms of movement.

Mantra meditation

Mantra meditation is prominent in Hindu and Buddhist traditions. This type of meditation uses a repetitive sound, word, or phrase to clear the mind. One of the most common mantras is “om.”

Transcendental Meditation

Transcendental Meditation (TM) is a specific practice designed to quiet the mind and induce a state of calm and peace. It involves the use of mantra and is best taught by a certified TM practitioner.

Progressive relaxation

Also known as body scan meditation, progressive relaxation is a practice aimed at reducing tension in the body and promoting relaxation. It often involves slowly tightening and relaxing one muscle group at a time throughout the body.

Visualization meditation

Visualization meditation is a technique focused on enhancing feelings of relaxation, peace, and calmness by visualizing positive scenes, images, or figures. It can also involve holding a beloved or honored figure in mind with the intention of embodying their qualities.

Release expectations

When you start meditating, you may notice changes right away. You may feel less anxious, more alert, or more powerful intellectually. Or, you may not feel any different at all. It's important to remember that there is no "best" or "right" kind of experience in meditation. Each session is as unique as each day of your life.

Avoid Disappointment

If you have expectations of what your meditation practice should be like, you may end up disappointed. For example, some people enter meditations with the hope that they will be able to manifest money, relationships, or health. However, high expectations can lead to disappointment when these things do not arise immediately.

Be Open to Whatever Comes Up

It's important to accept whatever thoughts or emotions arise during your meditation practice. If your mind is wild with thoughts, let them arise without judgement and gently bring your focus back to your breath. If you experience emotions, allow them to move through you without judgement. Remember, emotions need to move through us so they don't become stuck and cause discomfort or even disease later in life.

Keep an Open Mind

Meditation is about giving up models and labels. The less you expect, the less you judge, and the less you cling to specific experiences, the more progress you will make. Remember, you are seeking a transformation far beyond what any specific experience can give you.

Focus on the Benefits

While you may not always enjoy the act of meditating, remember that the benefits of meditation are far-reaching and long-lasting. Meditation can lower your stress levels, improve your focus, help you connect better with others, and make you kinder to yourself.

Frequently asked questions