Melanie
Couples meditation is a great way to improve your relationship and reach a whole new level of intimacy and understanding. It can be done anywhere and at any time—whether you're walking, sitting, or lying down. The key is to be present and to focus on your breath. By meditating together, couples can reduce stress, resolve conflicts, and increase their loving connection. It can also lead to greater sexual satisfaction and improve communication in the relationship. There are many different types of couples meditations to try, such as synchronized breathing, mindful fantasies, and dyadic meditation. So, grab your partner and give it a go!
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Location | Anywhere, but without distractions |
| Posture | Sitting, lying, standing, walking, or a combination |
| Timing | Any time of day, but regularly |
| Duration | 5 minutes to 30 minutes |
| Aids | Meditation apps, music, candles, cushions, mala beads |
| Techniques | Synchronised breathing, guided meditation, chanting, mindful touching, sensuality meditation, dyadic meditation, loving-kindness meditation |
What You'll Learn
Synchronised breathing
To begin, sit comfortably, facing your partner. You can sit however you like, as long as you are close together and face-to-face. Gaze into each other's left eyes and keep your pupils still. Watch how you breathe in and out, and after a minute or so, try to synchronise your breath with that of your partner. Don't force anything, just let it happen. If your mind wanders, gently bring your focus back to the synchronised breathing and eye-gazing. Relax, smile, and enjoy.
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Check-ins
Checking in with your partner is a great way to improve your relationship and reach a new level of intimacy and understanding. Here are some tips for check-ins to enhance your couples' meditation practice:
5-Minute Check-Ins
Tantra is about conscious and loving living in the present moment. A 5-minute check-in is a great way to unwind and still your mind after a long day. Take turns with your partner, speaking and listening without interruption. Share what's on your mind—it could be issues from work, body sensations, emotions, or anything concerning your relationship. This practice fosters fearless talking and attentive listening, allowing you to unwind and release the mental ballast of the day.
FANOS Check-Ins
FANOS is an acronym for Feelings, Affirmations/Appreciations, Needs, Ownership, and Struggles/Sobriety. This structured format is commonly used for couples' check-ins, especially when one partner is in recovery from addiction. Each person takes turns checking in while the other listens without questions or comments, maintaining eye contact throughout. Share your feelings, affirm or appreciate your partner, express your needs, take ownership of your actions, and discuss any struggles or sobriety challenges. This longer check-in is recommended twice a week and is particularly powerful for couples facing addiction and recovery together.
Gratitude Check-Ins
Expressing gratitude is a powerful way to connect and appreciate each other. Each partner can take turns sharing five things they are grateful for. Include items related to your partner, yourself, your relationship, and your personal journey. This practice fosters appreciation and reminds you of the positive aspects of your relationship.
Work and Challenges Check-Ins
This type of check-in focuses on the work you are doing towards personal growth and the challenges you are facing. Share the steps you are taking to heal and improve, such as therapy, support groups, or meditation practices. Discuss any behavioural challenges and the tools you are using to overcome them. This check-in allows you to reflect on your progress and acknowledge the efforts you are making to become a better version of yourself for your partner and your relationship.
Remember, the key to effective check-ins is having a structured and agreed-upon method that creates a safe space for both partners to share and listen. Experiment with different formats to find what works best for you as a couple, and always maintain a supportive and non-judgmental attitude towards each other.
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Sensual mindfulness
Setting the Scene
To begin, create a relaxing atmosphere in the bedroom. Light some scented candles and play romantic music to set the mood. This will help you both to relax and let go of any distractions.
Mindful Fantasies
Take time to explore your fantasies in a healthy way. Be mindful of your senses: sight, scent, touch, taste, and sound. By connecting with the present moment through your senses, you can move past your thoughts and truly connect with your partner.
Meditate on Your Senses
Allow your senses to guide you towards intimacy. Focus on the sensations in your body and the energy between you and your partner. The Ancient Egyptians believed that sexual energy could be channelled to achieve eternal youth.
Synchronized Breathing
Sit facing each other and synchronize your breathing. Gaze into each other's eyes and be aware of your breath. If your mind wanders, gently bring your focus back to your partner's eyes and breath. This practice will help you to connect and create a sense of calm.
Melting Hug
Stand facing your partner and relax your body. Visualize your bodies merging together and connect with your partner's energy. Take your time and allow yourself to fully embrace them with your whole body. This type of hug is meant to last for minutes, not just seconds, allowing you to truly connect and be present with each other.
Scissors Position
Stand facing each other and connect through eye contact. Place your left hand on your partner's sex and your right hand on your heart. Focus your awareness on your sexual energy and breathe low. As you lie down in the scissors position, continue to focus on your breath and the warmth and energy between you.
Final Thoughts
Remember, there is no wrong way to do couples meditation. The key is to be present, open, and vulnerable with your partner. By taking time to connect and explore your senses, you will deepen your intimacy and understanding of each other.
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Gratitude meditation
Meditation is a practice that offers many benefits, including improved mental health and stronger relationships. Couples who meditate together can strengthen their connection and improve their ability to resolve conflicts. One form of meditation that is particularly beneficial for couples is gratitude meditation, which involves reflecting on the gifts and blessings in one's life. This type of meditation can help partners appreciate each other more and strengthen their bond.
Instructions
- Find a quiet and comfortable place where you won't be disturbed. You can sit upright with your back, neck, and head straight or lie down on your back with a pillow under your knees. Make sure you are warm enough and loosen any restrictive clothing.
- Close your eyes gently or maintain a soft focus by gazing 6-12 feet in front of you.
- Take a slow, deep breath to centre yourself and begin the process of relaxation. Breathe into your belly so that it expands as you inhale and gets smaller as you exhale.
- Scan your body for any areas of tension and breathe into those areas, releasing the tension as you exhale.
- Notice any negative emotions such as worries, fears, anger, or irritation. Breathe into those emotions and allow them to flow out as you exhale.
- Now, notice any thoughts or distractions and simply observe them without judgement. As you breathe out, allow those thoughts to flow out with your breath.
- Think about your partner and all the things you are grateful for in your relationship. This could include their support, patience, encouragement, or simply their presence in your life.
- Reflect on the people and pets in your life who bring you joy and enrich your life, including family, friends, and colleagues.
- Consider the many conveniences and comforts we have today that our ancestors did not, such as electricity, running water, and modern transportation. Be grateful for the hard work of those who came before us and those who continue to make our lives easier.
- Take a moment to express gratitude for the gift of life itself and the basic necessities that sustain us, such as food, water, and shelter.
- If you wish, you can end the meditation by expressing gratitude for your partner out loud or by writing it down in a journal.
Benefits
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Dyadic meditation
How to do it
Sit together holding hands. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing for five minutes. Open your eyes and, without lust, explore your partner's body, imagining you are seeing them for the first time. Take 108 breaths while you meditate on your partner. If you wish, you can then make love while focusing your mind on the sensations, perhaps by not climaxing and experiencing "the edge". Feel the sensations and explore them.
Benefits
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Frequently asked questions
Couples meditation can help partners feel more connected, increase their compassion for one another, and even improve fertility. It can also reduce stress and help resolve conflicts.
Couples can sit facing each other, stand opposite each other, or sit side by side. If you're doing a loving-kindness meditation, you can hold hands.
One technique is to synchronize your breathing with your partner's. You can also try a 5-minute check-in where you take turns talking and listening to each other.
