Eye Gazing Meditation: A Guide

Eye gazing is a powerful and intimate practice that can deepen your connection with another person. It involves sitting comfortably and gazing into your partner's eyes for an extended period, usually between 10 minutes and an hour. You can do this with a group of people, taking turns, or with just one other person. If you are alone, you can even try this by looking at yourself in a mirror.

The practice is designed to help you overcome the discomfort of making eye contact and to feel more connected to the other person. It can also help you recognise emotions and create a sense of oneness.

So, how do you do it? First, get into a comfortable position and face your partner. You can hold hands or touch if you like. Set a timer, then look into your partner's eyes, keeping your gaze soft and relaxed. Breathe deeply and blink as needed. If you get distracted, simply bring your focus back to your partner's eyes. When the timer goes off, break your gaze and reflect on the experience.

Choose a partner or group of people

Eye gazing can be done with one other person, with a group of people, or even by yourself. If you are practising with a group, it is recommended to have an even number of participants, plus one facilitator. The facilitator's role is to explain the timing (5-7 minutes per round) and how participants will change positions after each round so that everyone gets to gaze into everyone else's eyes.

If you are practising with a partner, you can hold hands, touch, or sit a little further apart. The key is to be close enough to observe your partner's eyes and face clearly.

If you are practising with a group, you will be paired off and sit facing your partner. After each round, participants will swap partners by, for example, asking everyone on one line to move one place to the left or right.

Get into a comfortable position

To prepare for an eye-gazing meditation session, it is important to get into a comfortable position. This will allow you to relax and focus your mind on the practice.

Start by finding a quiet, private space where you won't be disturbed. You may want to sit on a cushion or a mat to elevate your position and ensure comfort. If you are doing this practice with a partner, sit facing each other at a comfortable distance. The distance should be close enough that you can clearly observe each other's eyes and faces. You can choose to hold hands or touch each other if you wish. If you are doing this practice alone, you can sit comfortably in front of a mirror.

Ensure that the lighting is adequate so that you can see each other's eyes clearly. If you are using a mirror, make sure it is positioned at eye level and that the reflection is clear and unobstructed.

Once you are in a comfortable position, you can begin the eye-gazing meditation. Remember to breathe deeply, allow yourself to blink, and keep your gaze soft. Try not to look away or get distracted. If you are doing this practice with a partner, you can set a timer for your desired duration and begin gazing into each other's eyes.

Set a timer

Setting a timer is an important step in eye-gazing meditation. The length of time you choose to gaze will depend on your comfort level and experience with the practice. If you are a beginner, it is recommended that you start with a shorter session, such as 30 seconds, and then gradually increase the duration over time. For example, most tantric practitioners recommend eye gazing for 10 to 20 minutes. However, some sources suggest that the longer the duration, the more powerful the experience will be.

When setting the timer, consider your own preferences and those of your partner. If you are doing this practice with a group, the facilitator should explain the timing and how participants will change positions after each round. For instance, each round may last between 5 to 7 minutes, and then participants can swap partners and repeat the process.

It is important to note that eye gazing can be an intense and intimate experience, and it may be uncomfortable for some people. Therefore, it is essential to respect the boundaries of your partner(s) and communicate openly about the duration of the practice.

Once the timer is set, you can begin the eye-gazing meditation. Sit in a comfortable position, facing your partner, and maintain eye contact for the duration of the timer. Remember to breathe deeply and allow yourself to blink during the practice. Keep your gaze soft and relaxed, and try not to look away. If you get distracted, gently bring your focus back to your partner's eyes.

When the timer goes off, break your gaze and take a moment to reflect on the experience.

Focus on your partner's eyes

To begin an eye-gazing meditation session, you will need to sit down comfortably, facing your partner. The distance between you should be close enough to hold hands or observe each other's eyes and faces clearly.

Once you are in position, set a timer for your desired amount of time. The longer the session, the more powerful the experience will be. If you are new to eye-gazing meditation, it is recommended to start with a shorter session of 30 seconds and then increase the duration over time. Most tantric practitioners recommend eye-gazing for 10 to 20 minutes.

Now, simply gaze into your partner's eyes. You can blink as needed, and it is important to keep your gaze soft and relaxed. Try not to laugh, giggle, or look away. If you get distracted, gently bring your awareness back to your partner's eyes.

Breathing deeply during the session can help you maintain your focus. If you experience any unpleasant emotions, simply acknowledge them and let them pass without getting attached. Continue to focus on your partner's eyes.

When the timer goes off, gently break your gaze.

Reflect on the experience

Eye gazing is a powerful and intimate practice that can deepen your connection with another person. It can also be done alone, by gazing at your reflection in a mirror.

After your eye gazing meditation, take some time to reflect on the experience. Here are some things to consider:

Your Emotional State

Did you feel any emotions during the meditation? If so, what were they? It's normal to feel a range of emotions during eye gazing, from laughter to tears. You might have felt self-conscious, insecure, enchanted, or vibrant. Perhaps you felt a sense of timelessness or experienced powerful emotions that you couldn't quite put into words.

Your Connection with Your Partner

Your Energy and Vibrancy

Did you feel any changes in your energy levels? Some people report feeling more grounded, strong, and vibrant after eye gazing. You might have felt a sense of peace or connection, not just with your partner but also with yourself and the world around you.

Your Observations of Your Partner's Eyes

Did you notice anything interesting about your partner's eyes? It's common to observe that one eye appears "happy" while the other seems "sad". This can be a powerful reminder that we all carry a unique blend of emotions and experiences.

Your Comfort Level

How did you feel about the level of comfort during the meditation? Were there any moments where you felt uncomfortable or wanted to look away? It's normal to feel some discomfort during eye gazing, especially if you're not used to maintaining prolonged eye contact.

Remember, the reflection process is an integral part of the eye gazing meditation experience. It allows you to integrate and make sense of the emotions, connections, and insights that arose during the practice. Take your time with this process, and feel free to share your reflections with your partner or a trusted friend.

Frequently asked questions