Calm Your Anger To Prepare For Meditation

Anger is a natural and universal emotion that can be challenging to manage. It can lead to negative consequences for ourselves and those around us, so finding healthy ways to deal with anger is essential. One effective approach is to use meditation and mindfulness techniques to improve our relationship with our emotions and respond to anger in a more positive way.

Meditation for anger involves using specific practices to calm the mind and body, such as focusing on the breath, visualising sunlight, or repeating affirmations. These techniques help to slow down our reactions, increase self-awareness, and regulate strong emotions. By taking time to be present with our anger, we can learn to respond from a calmer and more collected place, rather than lashing out or acting recklessly.

In addition to meditation, other strategies can help manage anger. These include understanding our anger triggers, finding healthy outlets for our emotions, pausing before reacting, using humour to diffuse tension, and seeking professional help if anger becomes unmanageable or leads to violence.

By combining meditation practices with other anger management strategies, we can improve our ability to deal with anger effectively and make positive changes in our lives.

Breathing exercises

Box Breathing

Imagine a box with four equal sides. This visualization will help you breathe and hold your breath for the same count all the way around the box. Take slow, deep breaths, inhaling through your nose for a count of four, holding your breath for a count of four, exhaling through your mouth for a count of four, and then holding your breath again for a count of four before inhaling again.

Belly Breathing

This technique involves taking slow and controlled breaths, also known as "belly breathing." Inhale slowly for four seconds through your nose, pretending you are blowing up a balloon in your belly. Pause for two seconds, and then slowly exhale through your mouth, pretending you are emptying the balloon. Again, pause for two seconds before inhaling again. Focus on keeping your upper body relaxed and still, with only your belly moving.

Flower Breathing

Collect a flower or visualize your favorite flower. Take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the flower. Hold your breath for a count of three, then exhale through your mouth for a count of four. Repeat this process for about five minutes.

Dandelion Breath

Sit up tall and relax your shoulders and face. Imagine a dandelion flower and take a deep breath. Then, slowly exhale, visualizing yourself blowing the seeds into the air.

One Nostril Breath

Place your finger over one nostril and breathe in deeply. Then, switch your finger to the other nostril and breathe out slowly. Repeat this exercise for up to two minutes.

4-7-8 Breathing Technique

This technique, developed by Dr. Andrew Weil, involves inhaling for a count of four, holding your breath for a count of seven, and then exhaling for a count of eight. Repeating these counts can help promote relaxation.

In addition to these specific techniques, it is important to focus on slow, deep breaths whenever you're feeling angry. Try to breathe slowly through your nose and out through your mouth. This will help calm your body and reduce your anger. You can also try progressive muscle relaxation techniques, such as slowly tensing and relaxing different muscle groups, to release tension and promote relaxation.

Ground yourself

Grounding yourself is an important part of dealing with anger before meditation. Here are some tips to help you ground yourself when feeling angry:

• Pull your shoulders back and take several slow breaths. Focus on your breath and be aware of the sensations in your body.
• Feel your feet on the ground and the back of your body. This will help you feel more stable and connected to the present moment.
• Scan your body and notice any physical sensations or tension you are holding. For example, you may feel tightness in your chest, shoulders, neck, or jaw.
• Try a body scan meditation, where you focus on each part of your body from your toes to your head. This can help you become more aware of your physical response to anger and relax your body.
• Practice progressive muscle relaxation by tensing and releasing each muscle group, starting from your toes and working your way up to your head.
• Find a comfortable position and close your eyes. Focus on your breath and count each inhale and exhale. If your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to your breath.
• Repeat a mantra or affirmation to yourself, such as "I am calm" or "I am in control."

Grounding yourself is about becoming aware of your body and the present moment, which can help you manage your anger and prepare for meditation.

Visualise the incident that made you angry

Visualising the incident that made you angry is a powerful way to process your emotions and prevent them from escalating. Here are some steps to help you effectively visualise the incident and manage your anger:

Identify the Trigger:

Start by identifying the specific incident that made you angry. It could be a recent argument with a friend, a frustrating situation at work, or any event that triggered strong emotions. Pinpointing the trigger will help you focus your visualisation.

Find a Quiet Space:

Remove yourself from distractions and find a quiet and comfortable space where you can be alone with your thoughts. This could be a quiet room, a peaceful spot in nature, or anywhere you feel safe and uninterrupted.

Take Slow, Deep Breaths:

Before delving into the visualisation, take a few moments to focus on your breath. Breathe slowly and deeply, inhaling and exhaling fully. This helps to calm your nervous system and create a sense of relaxation, making it easier to manage your emotions.

Visualise the Incident:

Now, bring to mind the details of the incident that made you angry. Picture the people involved, the words exchanged, the environment, and any specific actions or behaviours that triggered your anger. Try to recall the incident as vividly as possible, engaging all your senses. Notice how your body reacts as you visualise; observe any physical sensations, thoughts, or emotions that arise.

Acknowledge Your Anger:

As you visualise, allow yourself to fully experience the anger. Don't suppress it or try to rationalise it immediately. Instead, acknowledge its presence and intensity. You can even say out loud, "I am angry," varying the volume, speed, and tone of your voice. This helps in recognising and validating your emotions.

Explore Other Accompanying Emotions:

Anger often coexists with other emotions such as hurt, embarrassment, anxiety, or sadness. After acknowledging your anger, take time to identify and name these accompanying emotions. This step helps in developing emotional intelligence and understanding the complexity of your feelings.

Reflect and Process:

Once you have visualised the incident and acknowledged your emotions, take some time to reflect on the experience. Consider why this particular incident triggered your anger. Was it a violation of your boundaries? Did it bring up unresolved issues? Reflecting on these questions can provide valuable insights and help you process your emotions effectively.

Engage in Self-Compassion:

Remember that anger is a natural and valid emotion. Treat yourself and your emotions with compassion and understanding. Avoid judging yourself harshly for feeling angry. Instead, practise self-compassion and patience as you navigate through these intense emotions.

Journal Your Thoughts and Feelings:

Writing about your experience can be a powerful way to process and release emotions. After visualising and reflecting, consider journaling about the incident, your emotions, and any insights you gained. This helps in clarifying your thoughts and can be a healthy outlet for expressing anger.

Visualising the incident that made you angry is a courageous step towards emotional awareness and regulation. By following these steps, you can effectively process your anger and gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your triggers. Remember, it's important to be patient and gentle with yourself throughout this process.

Identify other feelings

Anger is often accompanied by other emotions, and it is important to identify these to fully understand and process your anger. Fully experiencing your emotions means that they don't get buried and you can make positive changes in your life.

Try to name any other emotions you are feeling out loud, one at a time. For example, you might say, "I am hurt", "I feel embarrassed", "I am scared", or "I am anxious".

Other feelings that may accompany anger include:

• Irritability
• Frustration
• Bitterness
• Resentment
• Impatience
• Jealousy
• Fury
• Nervousness
• Disgust
• Sadness
• Fear
• Injustice
• Trapped
• Unable to defend yourself
• Helplessness
• Anxiety
• Exhaustion
• Blameworthiness
• Injustice
• Hopelessness
• Paranoia
• Self-harm
• Suicidality
• Shame
• Guilt
• Embarrassment
• Hurt
• Betrayal
• Disappointment
• Confusion
• Weakness
• Vulnerability
• Powerlessness
• Inadequacy
• Isolation

It is important to recognise and name these emotions to help you process and manage your anger effectively. This can help you to respond to anger in a calmer and more collected way.

Relax your stance

Once you've mentioned all the feelings you're experiencing, you can relax your stance and take several deep breaths. This is an important step, as it helps to physically ease the tension in your body and calm your mind.

After relaxing your stance, you might want to try some mindful breathing exercises. These can help to further calm you down and soothe your nervous system. Try taking a few deep breaths, focusing on the breath entering and leaving your body with long inhales and exhales. Repeat this until you feel calmer.

These breathing exercises can help to calm your nervous system, ease tension, and promote relaxation. This is why they are so effective in moments of anger, anxiety, stress, or tension.

You can also try some specific breathing exercises, such as box breathing or focusing on the out-breath. Box breathing involves inhaling and exhaling slowly and evenly, counting to four each time. Focusing on the out-breath involves breathing slowly through the nose to the count of three, then exhaling through the mouth to the count of six.

Remember, it's okay if you don't feel calm right away. With practice, it will become easier to let go of angry thoughts and feelings.

Frequently asked questions