Building Faith In God: A Guide For Tweens And Parents

As children grow up and start to develop their own beliefs, it can be challenging for parents to know how to encourage their tweens to build faith in God. It's important to acknowledge that this is a natural part of growing up and that children will start to question things and develop their own perspectives. While it can be difficult, there are several ways to help tweens build their faith. Firstly, it's crucial to create an environment where they feel safe to ask questions and express their doubts. Be honest about your own faith journey and share your experiences. Instead of criticising their interpretation of religious texts, ask them questions to help them clarify their understanding. Provide them with resources such as devotional journals or youth groups that can guide them in their spiritual exploration. Encourage them to develop their own spiritual practices, such as prayer or meditation, and emphasise the importance of building a personal relationship with God. Finally, it's essential to model what a faithful life looks like by living out your beliefs and showing them how your faith guides your decisions and actions.

Encourage independent Bible study and provide resources such as highlighters, journals, and Bible reading apps

Encouraging independent Bible study in tweens can be challenging. They are easily discouraged, feel guilty, and get off track with their Bible study. They can also misinterpret passages, so it is important to ask questions and help them examine their hearts and thoughts. Here are some ways to encourage independent Bible study:

Provide Resources

Provide tweens with highlighters and undated journals to use when they read the Bible. Encourage them to write down the entire verse that challenges them and compile a list of verses that have impacted their lives. You can also provide them with Bible reading checklists or apps with Bible reading plans. Make sure they have a good quality Bible, perhaps with wide margins for writing in.

Create an Environment for Study

Consider how your schedule can facilitate Bible reading time. For example, you could keep mornings slow-paced to allow more time for Bible reading. You could also minimise distractions, such as social media, and help them set boundaries.

Ask Questions

Ask your tweens what they loved about their reading and why. Ask them what Bible passages or phrases stood out to them. What Scriptures are they studying in their Sunday school class or Bible study? What does it mean to "draw near to God"? How do they remember and think about the Bible? What are some questions they ask themselves as they read?

Model Good Behaviour

Share your own experiences of reading and interpreting the Bible. Tell them what you read when you're discouraged or don't feel like reading the Bible. Share passages that are encouraging or challenging to you, and explain why. Remember that children learn by observing how you use Scripture while talking through problems with your spouse and friends. Focus on growing in this area yourself, and then share what God is teaching you.

Minimise Criticism

Too much correction can discourage tweens from independent study and leave them dependent on others to interpret the Bible for them. Choose your criticism wisely and resist the urge to clarify with declarative statements. Instead, help them think by asking questions.

Set Goals

Give tweens a sense of time and goal-making. Help them set spiritual goals, such as reading the New Testament, memorising a particular passage, or reading Proverbs every day for a month. Celebrate with them when they meet their goals.

Help them develop a band of brothers or a group of like-minded peers to study and discuss the Bible with

The tween and teen years are a pivotal point in the faith journey for young Christians. It is when children's beliefs start to separate from their parents. Here are some tips to help them develop a band of brothers or a group of like-minded peers to study and discuss the Bible with:

• Get other parents involved and start a group for your sons and their friends to meet and discuss the Bible. This could be as simple as a weekly get-together for Bible study and accountability.
• Seek to bring good influences around your child and limit the bad. Pray for wisdom.
• Get your child involved in student ministry.
• Encourage your child to be honest about their faith and any challenges they are facing. Let them know that they can be honest with you about all things faith-related.
• Be ready to talk about faith when your child is ready. Most teenagers aren't volunteering authentic information to their parents, so cherish those moments when they do.
• Help your child develop spiritual disciplines. Encourage habits like Bible study and prayer. You could meet with your child once a week to read and talk through a chapter of a devotional book. Involve other dads and their sons as well to help build a band of brothers.
• Get your child around quality men and find reasons for your son to spend time with them. It could be a camping trip, a ball game, or sports.
• Get away together. Go on a trip with your child, such as a wilderness canoe trip, and use this opportunity to open the door to a weekly mentoring time together.

Strengthen your marriage and set an example of a Godly relationship

As a parent, you have likely invested your life in your child, bringing them to church, teaching them about the Bible, and praying with them. However, it can be challenging when your tween or teen starts questioning their faith. It is important to remember that you are not alone in this, and that many parents have faced similar situations. Here are some ways to strengthen your marriage and set an example of a Godly relationship for your tweens:

Nurture Your Marriage

It is important to intentionally spend time together and do things you both enjoy. Prioritize your marriage and make it a focal point, rather than letting life's busyness push your relationship to the background. Forgive each other quickly and surround yourself with friends who will uplift your marriage.

Pray Together

Praying together as a couple is one of the most intimate acts and will strengthen your bond. Praying together also sets an example for your tweens, showing them the importance of prayer and a personal relationship with God.

Serve Each Other

Instead of keeping score of how well your spouse is serving you, ask yourself how you can better serve them. This attitude of service and humility reflects God's love and can be a powerful example for your tweens.

Communicate Openly and Honestly

Open and honest communication is essential for a solid marriage. Create a safe space where both spouses can freely express their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. This models healthy communication and conflict resolution for your tweens, which is an important skill for them to learn as they navigate their own relationships.

Include God in Your Partnership

Remember that your Heavenly Father must be included in your marriage. Nourish your relationship by praying together, asking for His help, and expressing love for one another. This not only strengthens your marriage but also demonstrates to your tweens the importance of having God at the center of a relationship.

Acknowledge and Rely on God

Acknowledge that Satan is your enemy and that he will seek to sabotage your marriage. At the same time, rely on God's grace and mercy to help you navigate challenges. This demonstrates to your tweens the very real spiritual battle that exists and how to rely on God in the midst of it.

By following these principles, you can strengthen your marriage and set an example of a Godly relationship for your tweens, even as they navigate their own faith journey.

Encourage spiritual disciplines such as Bible study and prayer

Encouraging spiritual disciplines such as Bible study and prayer is an important aspect of helping tweens develop their faith in God. Here are some strategies to achieve this:

Provide Resources and Create a Conducive Environment

Provide your tweens with Bibles that they will value and treat as precious. You can also give them highlighters and undated journals to write down verses that resonate with them. Additionally, create a schedule that facilitates their Bible reading time. For example, you can keep mornings slow-paced and allow them to prioritise reading over chores. Print out Bible reading checklists or suggest Bible reading plans through apps like YouVersion.

Ask Questions and Foster Independence

Ask open-ended questions to help tweens clarify their understanding and examine their hearts. For example, ask them about verses or phrases that stood out to them, or what they loved about their reading. Minimise criticism when their interpretation isn't exactly right, and instead, guide them with thoughtful questions. Encourage them to develop their own relationship with God, allowing them to explore their faith independently.

Model Spiritual Disciplines Yourself

Share your own experiences and insights from your Bible reading and prayer life. Tell them about passages that are meaningful to you and explain why. Let them overhear how you use Scripture in your daily life when talking through problems with your spouse or friends. This will help them understand the practical application of God's Word and see its value in your life.

Help Them Develop Spiritual Goals

Encourage tweens to set spiritual goals, such as reading the New Testament or memorising specific passages. Help them work towards these goals and celebrate with them when they achieve them. Also, suggest other short-term goals, like reading the same Bible passages together as a family, and use these times for follow-up discussions.

Partner with Others

Collaborate with student ministries or other parents to create a unified approach to faith development. This could include joining or forming a group for Bible study and accountability, like the "Roof Crashers" mentioned in the source material. Additionally, point your tweens towards older individuals who love God's Word and can serve as positive role models.

Get them around quality male role models who live out their faith

Getting your tweens and teens around quality male role models who live out their faith is a great way to help them build their own faith. Here are some ideas on how to do this:

Firstly, find men your son can look up to and make excuses for your son to spend time with them. This could be a camping trip, a ball game, or any other activity that will give them quality time together. A great male role model will be athletic, wise, patient, and always quoting Scripture. Your son will want their life to rub off on his, so find men who live out their faith in a way that resonates with your son.

Secondly, be intentional about creating opportunities for your son to serve others. This could be feeding the homeless, helping a neighbour with a home project, or doing yard work for an older neighbour. Serving others will help your son get his eyes off himself and onto God, which is crucial for spiritual growth.

Thirdly, strengthen your marriage. Your son needs to see that your faith works at home, not just in public. Show him that you love your wife and treat her with respect. This will demonstrate the power of God's love in a tangible way that he can understand.

Finally, be honest with your son about your own faith journey. Share your own struggles and how you have overcome them. Be a role model for how to live out your faith in everyday life. Your son needs more than just knowledge about your faith; he needs to see it in action. So, be deliberate about nurturing his independence and initiative in his spiritual life, while also being there to answer his questions and provide guidance.

Frequently asked questions