Adultery is a sin that breaks trust, shatters intimacy, and destroys relationships. It is a violation of the sacred bond of marriage, and God takes it very seriously. Adultery is not just a physical act but also a heart issue, where one cultivates an emotional connection with someone other than their spouse and fantasizes about sexual possibilities. This emotional affair then leads to flirting and developing an intimate support structure with the other person. According to the Bible, adultery is forbidden by the seventh commandment: You shall not commit adultery (Exodus 20:14). It is a mature and deliberate sin, and those who commit it introduce betrayal and bring shame upon themselves. Adultery can happen due to various reasons such as sinful and selfish desires, lack of maturity, demanding partners, lack of sexual satisfaction, and meddlesome in-laws. It is essential to recognize the signs of adultery, such as a change in spending patterns, less personal conversation, and more unaccounted time away from home, to address the issue and seek healing.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Adding a third person | Polygamy |
Divorce and remarriage | Lust |
Lack of maturity | Lack of sexual satisfaction |
Demanding, critical, scolding, nagging | Lack of adequate sex education |
Emotional affair | Fantasising |
Flirting | Lack of commitment |
Selfishness | Lack of trust |
What You'll Learn
Through lustful thoughts
Overcoming Lustful Thoughts
Lustful thoughts are a common struggle for many, and it is important to recognise that they are wrong and can lead to sinful behaviour. The Bible is clear that lusting after someone is wrong and that Jesus taught, "But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28).
Understanding Lustful Thoughts
To overcome lustful thoughts, it is crucial to understand what they are and where they come from. Humans are sexual beings, and it is natural to have sexual reactions to stimulation. However, when we allow ourselves to indulge in lustful thoughts, it becomes sinful lust. This is when we willfully allow ourselves to experience pleasurable gratification of wrongfully directed sexual desire.
The Impact of Lustful Thoughts
Lustful thoughts can lead to lustful actions and can damage lives, families, and communities. Adultery, which is voluntary sexual activity between a married person and someone other than their spouse, is a serious sin that brings God's consequences. It is important to recognise that even indulging in lustful thoughts, such as through pornography, is considered adultery in God's eyes, as lust, not sex, is the threshold of adultery.
Strategies to Overcome Lustful Thoughts
- Don't suppress the thought: Instead of instantly pushing the thought away, notice it without freaking out and let it go without acting on it. Suppressing thoughts often lead to them reappearing more frequently and with more intensity.
- Create an "escape route": Instead of dwelling on a lustful thought, distract yourself by focusing on something interesting, exciting, or a project you're working on.
- Focus on your values and goals: Remind yourself of the kind of person you want to be and the life you want to live. Giving in to lustful thoughts is inconsistent with the values taught in the Bible.
- Pray for strength: God is your strongest ally and will help you overcome these thoughts.
- Seek support: If you're struggling to manage lustful thoughts on your own, consider joining an online support group or seeking therapy to better understand your thoughts and how to manage them.
Final Thoughts
Overcoming lustful thoughts is challenging, but with God's help and the right strategies, it is possible. Remember that you are not a bad person for having lustful thoughts, but it's important to take action and not let them control your behaviour.
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By seeking divorce
Adultery is defined as extramarital sex that is objectionable on social, religious, moral, or legal grounds. The Bible forbids adultery, stating "You shall not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14).
Divorce is also discouraged in the Bible, with Jesus emphasizing the permanence of marriage (Mark 10:1-12, Matthew 19, Luke 16:18). However, divorce is permitted in the case of adultery, as stated in Matthew 19:9: "And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery."
Seeking divorce can be seen as adulterating one's faith, as it involves breaking the marriage covenant and can lead to remarriage, which is considered adultery in some religious traditions. Divorce can also result in a loss of faith and a sense of alienation from fellow believers.
Additionally, divorce can have negative consequences for children, who may struggle in later life due to the breakdown of their family. It can also lead to feelings of guilt and jealousy in the person with whom the spouse has an affair, as well as social ostracization and legal repercussions.
Furthermore, divorce may be used to cover up acts of abuse or neglect, with some individuals using it as a means to escape accountability for their actions. This can result in further trauma for the victim, who may feel pressured to remain in an unhealthy or unsafe marriage out of fear of religious condemnation.
Therefore, while divorce is sometimes necessary and permissible, particularly in cases of adultery or abuse, it can have significant negative repercussions and should not be entered into lightly. It is important for individuals to carefully consider the potential impact on themselves, their families, and their faith before seeking divorce.
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Through polygamy
Polygamy, the practice of having more than one spouse, is a form of adulterating one's faith. While the Bible does not explicitly condemn polygamy, God's ideal for marriage is clear: one man with one woman.
In the Bible, God declares that "a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). This imagery only works with one man and one woman.
In the New Testament, Jesus reinforces this idea, saying, "What God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:6).
Additionally, one of the Ten Commandments states, "You shall not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14), which speaks against marrying multiple partners.
While the Bible does include examples of polygamy, such as Jacob, Moses, King David, and Solomon, these are presented as a historical record rather than an endorsement of the practice.
Polygamy was likely permitted in the Old Testament to protect and provide for women, who often lacked the means to support themselves and were vulnerable to prostitution and slavery. In a polygamous household, a man would serve as the provider and protector of all his wives.
However, polygamy is not in line with God's original plan for marriage, which is monogamy. This is further supported by New Testament passages such as 1 Timothy 3:2, 12, and Titus 1:6, which list being "the husband of one wife" as a qualification for spiritual leadership in the church.
In modern times, polygamy is generally not condoned by religious groups, and most societies outlaw the practice.
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By remarriage
Adultery is a sin, and God hates divorce. However, the Bible does allow for divorce and remarriage under certain conditions.
Jesus allowed remarriage only if divorce is the result of infidelity. In Matthew 19:9, he says:
> "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
The Bible also permits divorce and remarriage in the case of abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. The Apostle Paul states:
> "If the unbelieving one (mate) leaves, let him leave; the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace."
In addition, willful neglect of marital responsibilities and abuse may also be grounds for divorce and remarriage as forms of abandonment.
It is important to note that divorce and remarriage are sensitive issues that require pastoral sensitivity. While divorce and remarriage may be permissible in certain circumstances, they are still violations of God's ideal for marriage as a lifelong covenant of companionship.
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With pornography
Pornography is a form of adultery, as it involves lusting after someone who is not your spouse. This is a sin, as it takes you away from God's plan for you. Pornography can lead to a person becoming dependent on it, distorting their natural sexual feelings and causing them to seek out more graphic content. It can also alter brain chemistry and cause difficulties in performing day-to-day tasks, as well as negatively impacting relationships and social interactions.
Pornography is also associated with a lack of empathy and low self-esteem, and can lead to a person feeling isolated and miserable. It can skew a person's understanding of what is normal, appropriate and healthy in sexual expression, and can cause them to view others as inferior or as objects for lust.
The Bible teaches that marriage is a sacred bond and that sex is a profound human connection that belongs only within marriage. God intends for spouses to express love and strengthen their spiritual, emotional and physical bonds through healthy sexuality. Pornography is contrary to this as it involves selfish gratification and misrepresents sexuality.
Pornography is a pathway that leads away from God. It is a form of mental adultery that can lead to physical adultery. It is a sin because it takes a person away from God's good plan for them.
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Frequently asked questions
To adulterate is to corrupt or debase. To adulterate is to make impure or inferior by adding something improper.
Adultery is forbidden by the seventh commandment: "You shall not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14). Adultery is a sin and it is also a symptom that all is not well in a marriage. It breaks trust, shatters intimacy, and destroys relationships.
One can adulterate their faith by introducing impurities or foreign substances into their beliefs and practices. This could include sinful desires, lack of maturity, demanding or critical attitudes, lack of sexual satisfaction, or meddlesome in-laws, among other things.
Adulterating our faith can lead to emotional, physical, and spiritual consequences. Emotionally, one may experience guilt, fear, anxiety, loss of self-esteem, and depression. Physically, there may be illegitimate births, venereal diseases, or abortions. Spiritually, one may face loss in this life and the life to come.
We can avoid adulterating our faith by seeking purity and holiness in our lives and homes. We should strive to reproduce Christ's character in ourselves and maintain an exclusive relationship with God, just as He intends for marriage to be exclusive.