Confessing Sins: A Catholic's Guide To Repentance

To confess your sins as a Catholic, you must first compare your life with the Ten Commandments, the Beatitudes, and the example of Christ, asking the Holy Spirit to show you your particular sins. You can then go to confession privately behind a screen or face-to-face with a priest, to whom you will confess your sins. It is recommended that you confess all your mortal sins, but not obligatory to confess venial sins. If you are unsure, the priest will help you make a good confession. You will then be assigned penance, such as a prayer, an offering, or an act of service, and you will pray an Act of Contrition to express true sorrow for your sins. The priest will then absolve you of your sins.

What is considered a sin?

The Catholic Church does not provide a precise list of sins, but it does name certain "grave sins" and "offenses" and "actions" whose subject matter is considered to be grave. However, the Church does outline the Ten Commandments, which are formulated in a general manner to help people discern whether their actions are sinful.

The three conditions that must be met for a sin to be considered "mortal" are:

• Grave matter: The sin is serious and is specified by the Ten Commandments.
• Full knowledge: The sinner is aware of the sinful action and the gravity of the offense.
• Deliberate consent: The sinner accepts or tolerates what they are doing.

Some examples of sins that are considered to be grave include:

• Sacrilege
• Blasphemy
• Perjury
• Deliberately missing Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation
• Murder
• Hatred of a neighbor "when one deliberately desires him or her grave harm"
• Prostitution
• Sexual relations outside of marriage
• Adultery
• Masturbation
• Fornication
• Pornography
• Homosexual actions
• Direct sterilization
• Contraception
• Divorce
• Polygamy
• Incest
• Free unions (cohabitation, concubinage)
• Sexual acts before or outside of marriage
• Theft
• Business fraud
• Paying unjust wages
• Corruption
• Tax evasion
• Lying
• False witness
• Perjury
• Rash judgment
• Detraction
• Calumny
• Adultery
• Gluttony
• Drunkenness
• Gossip
• Indifference to good or evil
• Malice
• Premarital sex
• Reckless driving
• Watching or looking at pornographic material
• Artificial birth control
• Destruction of other people's property
• Disobedience toward parents/teachers
• Excessive materialism
• Cheating and unfair wagers
• Encouragement of another's grave sins or vices
• Abortion
• Suicide
• Rape
• Witchcraft
• Idolatry
• Superstition
• Irreligion
• Atheism
• Agnosticism
• Negligence, indifference, or hatred toward family members
• Negligence and indifference in the education of children
• And more...

It is important to note that not every violation of the Ten Commandments is considered a mortal sin, and not every mortal sin is a direct and obvious violation of the Commandments. The right question to ask is: Is this the kind of behavior that places something else above God or turns me away from God? If so, it is considered grave matter.

Additionally, circumstances matter when evaluating the gravity of a sin. For example, stealing from a millionaire is less evil than stealing food from a starving man. The Catechism of the Catholic Church provides further guidance on evaluating the seriousness of a sin.

How do I prepare for confession?

Preparing for confession involves several steps, which can be done at home and at the church. The purpose of these steps is to help you identify your sins, seek forgiveness, and make amends. Here is a guide to help you through the process:

At Home:

• Examination of Conscience: Reflect on your actions by comparing them to the Ten Commandments, the Beatitudes, and the example of Christ. You can use Examinations of Conscience resources or mobile apps to guide you. This process will help you identify your sins and areas where you have strayed from your faith.
• Writing Down Sins: It is a good idea to write down your sins before going to confession. This will ensure you don't forget anything and help you be thorough in your examination.
• Prayer: Pray for God's help and guidance in preparing for confession. You can use set prayers or pray spontaneously from your heart. Ask for forgiveness and express your desire to make amends.

At the Church:

• Prayer Before Confession: When you arrive at the church, spend a few minutes in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament. You can use this time to pray for guidance and forgiveness again, preparing yourself mentally and spiritually for the confession.
• Confessional Room: Enter the confessional room or reconciliation room. You can choose to kneel behind a screen for anonymity or sit face-to-face with the priest.
• Greeting the Priest: The priest will usually begin by greeting you and reciting a passage from Scripture. You can then start your confession.

During Confession:

• Beginning the Confession: Make the sign of the cross with the priest and say, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been [state the length of time] since my last confession." You can then briefly introduce yourself and your current life situation to provide context for your confession.
• Confessing Sins: Simply and honestly, tell the priest your sins. You can discuss the circumstances and root causes of your sins if you wish. Be concise and direct, without justifying your actions. You can also ask the priest for advice or direction. Remember to confess all mortal sins and some venial sins (everyday faults).
• Expressing Contrition: After confessing your sins, express your sorrow and regret. You can use a set prayer, such as the Act of Contrition, or speak from your heart.
• Receiving Penance: The priest will assign you a penance, which is an action or prayer to express your sorrow and desire for a new life. Listen to the priest's advice and accept the penance.
• Absolution: The priest will then pray for your sins to be forgiven by God's grace. Make the sign of the cross when the priest says, "I absolve you from your sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."
• Conclusion: The priest will conclude with words of dismissal, such as, "Go in peace," to which you respond, "Thanks be to God."

Remember, the priest is there to guide and help you, so don't be afraid to ask for assistance if needed. The process of confession is intended to bring you closer to God and offer you a chance for forgiveness and a new beginning.

What do I say during confession?

Confession is a sacrament instituted by Jesus Christ to offer forgiveness for offences against God and others. It brings reconciliation between God and the penitent, between the penitent and others, and to the penitent.

To begin, enter the confessional and greet the priest. Make the sign of the cross and say: "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been [state how long] since my last confession." You can then mention venial (everyday) sins and mortal sins, which are more serious. Try to be thorough, but it's okay if you don't remember every single sin. You can conclude by saying: "This is all I can remember. I am sorry for these and all my sins." You can also add something like, "And for all the sins of my past life" or "and for any sins which I may have forgotten", to acknowledge the weakness of human memory.

You can then discuss the circumstances and root causes of your sins and ask the priest for advice or direction. You must confess mortal sins as best as you are able. If you want to, you can write them down or use a phone app to help you remember.

When you are finished, listen to the priest and accept the penance from him. Penances are things we do to begin again and to show God we are sorry—they could be prayers, reflections, or works of charity.

You will then pray the Act of Contrition. This prayer expresses true sorrow for the sins confessed. You can use your own words or a formal prayer of sorrow, such as:

> "My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against You whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with Your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. In his name, my God, have mercy."

The priest will then absolve you from your sins by saying the prayer of Absolution. Make the sign of the cross and respond with "Amen". The priest will then express some words of praise and blessing. You can then depart and complete your assigned penance.

What happens after I confess my sins?

After confessing your sins, the priest will assign you a penance. This penance is tailored to your personal situation and supports your spiritual good. It could be a prayer, an offering, works of mercy, service, or sacrifice. Whatever the penance, the individual is joined in some way to Christ and the cross.

Following this, the penitent will pray an Act of Contrition. This prayer expresses true sorrow for the sins confessed. This prayer may be expressed in one's own words or one may use one of the formal prayers of sorrow.

My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. In his name, my God, have mercy. (Rite of Penance, no. 45)

The priest, acting in the person of Christ, will then absolve you from your sins by saying the prayer of Absolution. As the prayer is ending, the penitent makes the Sign of the Cross and responds, "Amen."

The priest will then express some words of praise and blessing. The penitent leaves, completing the assigned penance.

It is important to remember that the Sacrament of Confession is not a form of brainwashing. It does not erase your memories of past sins. However, theologically, the words of the priest drift into the human past to erase the guilt associated with the sins.

Can I confess anonymously?

Yes, you can confess anonymously. In fact, anonymous confession, where one kneels behind a privacy screen and does not confess face-to-face with the priest, was the standard manner in which confessions were given for centuries. Even after the revision of the rubrics, all Catholic churches are required to give people the option of confessing anonymously or face-to-face. If a penitent desires anonymity, the priest should respect this desire and should never have any need or right to inquire as to the identity of the penitent.

However, there may be situations where the priest needs to determine the exact nature and gravity of the sin involved, and so may make a general inquiry as to the penitent's state in life, for example, if they are married, or a vowed religious, etc. In some confessionals, where the penitent is almost invisible, the priest may have to ask some detail of age, or even sex, in order to tailor his counsel to the penitent's specific characteristics.

The process of confession begins with the Sign of the Cross and the penitent greeting the priest with the words, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. My last confession was ….” (weeks, months, years). The penitent then confesses their sins to the priest, who stands in the name of Christ and the Church. The priest will help you make a good confession. If you are unsure or uneasy, ask the priest to help. Following the confession of sins, say, “This is all I can remember. I am sorry for these and all my sins.”

It is a good idea when confessing sins to add, after you have finished saying your most recent sins, something like “And for all the sins of my past life” or “And for any sins which I may have forgotten.”. This is not to say that we can purposefully leave sins out of our confession or can leave them vague and undefined. Making these general statements is just acknowledging the weakness of human memory.

After you have confessed your sins, the priest will assign you a penance. The penance takes into account your personal situation and supports your spiritual good. It may be a prayer, an offering, works of mercy, service, or sacrifice; whatever the penance, the individual is joined in some way to Christ and the cross.

Frequently asked questions