Faith and fear are often seen as opposing forces, with fear holding us back and faith propelling us forward. When we are afraid, our fight-or-flight response is activated, and we may feel frozen, unable to move forward or make decisions. Having faith, whether in ourselves, a higher power, or the universe, can help thaw this frozen fear and give us the courage to move through it. It provides a sense of hope and trust that things will work out, even when faced with uncertainty and challenges. This concept of having faith enough to thaw the fear that freezes is about harnessing that faith to overcome our fears, take risks, and embrace new possibilities.
What You'll Learn
Recognise the freeze response
Recognising the freeze response is the first step to overcoming it. Freezing is a natural response to a threat, where a person becomes immobile and unable to communicate or react. It is important to note that this response is involuntary and beyond one's control.
- Increased heart rate
- Tension in the body and muscles (tonic immobility)
- Rapid and shallow breathing
- Minimal verbal cues or no speech at all
- Feeling stuck or paralysed
- Feeling cold or numb
- Physical stiffness or heaviness of limbs
- Restricted breathing or holding of breath
- A sense of dread or foreboding
- Feeling detached from reality
- Dissociation, feeling as if observing oneself from outside the body
- Inability to think straight or make decisions
- Sudden exhaustion
- Feeling blank or devoid of emotions
It is crucial to approach someone experiencing the freeze response with care and delicacy. Here are some things to keep in mind:
- Avoid making direct eye contact, as it can be too intrusive and further dysregulate the person.
- Do not offer unsolicited touch, as it may feel violating.
- Always ask for permission and respect boundaries, as trauma can strip people of choice and control.
- Work at a slow and gentle pace to avoid triggering collapse/shutdown or dissociation.
- Avoid trying to "convince the nervous system" that the person is safe through verbal reassurance, as it can be ineffective or even contraindicated. Instead, focus on imparting cues of safety through calm prosody and inviting body language.
By recognising and understanding the freeze response, we can better support ourselves and others in navigating through challenging situations and promoting healing from trauma.
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Understand the causes of freezing
Understanding the causes of freezing is an important step towards having faith enough to thaw the fear that freezes. Freezing can be caused by a variety of factors, and it is crucial to identify and address these causes to overcome fear. Here are some key insights to help you understand the causes of freezing:
The Impact of Past Hurts and Events
Fear and freezing can often be rooted in past experiences and traumas. Don Carter, a therapist and author of "Thaw: Freedom from Frozen Feelings," highlights that emotional wounds from childhood, such as abandonment, shame, and contempt, can create fear and dysfunctional relationships in adulthood. These wounds can lead to a cycle of toxic shame, self-contempt, and a constant struggle to meet emotional dependency needs. By identifying and addressing these underlying wounds, individuals can begin to thaw the fear that freezes them.
The Role of Decision-Making
Fear can also paralyze individuals when it comes to decision-making. The fear of making the wrong decision can cause people to feel frozen, unable to move forward. This is often due to an expectation of perfection or a fear of failure. However, it's important to recognize that most decisions are repairable and that seeking 80% certainty instead of 100% can help overcome this paralysis. Labeling the underlying fears and seeking healing from past hurts can empower individuals to make decisions with greater confidence and faith.
The Influence of Shame and Criticism
Shame-based family systems, where parents use shame as a form of direction and criticism is prevalent, can have a significant impact on children's emotional well-being. Constant criticism and messages of disapproval can lead to deep-seated fears and a sense of never being good enough. This, in turn, can cause individuals to freeze and struggle with decision-making, relationships, and self-worth in adulthood. Recognizing the impact of these early messages and working towards self-acceptance and compassion can help thaw the freezing effects of shame.
The Law and Gospel Dynamic
Charles Haddon Spurgeon, a renowned preacher, offers an interesting perspective on the operations of nature and grace. He suggests that God's law is like a cutting north wind that freezes the soul, binding up rivers of human delight. However, the gospel, like a warm south wind, thaws the heart, bringing comfort, hope, and joy. This dynamic illustrates the importance of understanding the balance between law and grace in addressing the causes of freezing.
The Power of Negative Thinking
Negative thinking and fear go hand in hand. Fear can cause individuals to focus on the negative aspects of a situation, ignoring the positive. For example, during challenging times, it is common to dwell on the problems and losses rather than seeking out the blessings and lessons within those struggles. This negative mindset can perpetuate a sense of freezing, making it challenging to move forward with faith. Recognizing and actively shifting towards a more positive and grateful mindset can help thaw the freezing effects of fear.
By understanding these causes of freezing, individuals can begin to identify their specific fears, address underlying wounds, and gradually build faith to thaw the fear that freezes them. It is a process that requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to confront difficult emotions and memories.
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Learn how to calm yourself
Faith is a powerful antidote to fear. In the Bible, we are reminded to have faith over fear and to seek strength and reassurance from God. For instance, in Psalm 34:4, King David writes about turning away from sin and returning to God, who delivered him from his fears.
Focus on your breath
Deep breathing exercises are an effective way to calm yourself. Try the 4-7-8 breathing technique: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale for 8. This helps to anchor you in the present moment, preventing you from dwelling on past regrets or worrying about future anxieties.
Admit your feelings
Allow yourself to acknowledge and express your anxiety or anger. By labelling your emotions, you can decrease their intensity.
Challenge your thoughts
Anxiety often leads to irrational thoughts and worst-case scenarios. Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself: "Is this likely to happen?", "Is this a rational thought?", "Has this happened before?", and "Can I handle the worst-case scenario?". Reframe your thinking to focus on more positive and realistic possibilities.
Release the tension
Engage in physical activity or exercise to release serotonin and calm yourself down. Avoid activities that involve expressing anger, such as punching walls, as these can reinforce negative emotions.
Visualize yourself calm
Practice deep breathing and create a mental image of yourself calm and relaxed. Refer back to this image when you're feeling anxious.
Change your focus
Remove yourself from anxiety-inducing situations. Leave the room, go outside, or simply look in another direction to help shift your focus and improve your decision-making abilities.
Have a centering object
Keep a small object with you, such as a polished rock or a locket, and touch it when you're feeling anxious. This can help to ground and calm you.
Drop your shoulders
Focus on your posture. Sit up tall, take a deep breath, and drop your shoulders. Bring your shoulder blades together and then down to release tension in your body.
Spend time in nature
Nature has a restorative effect on our minds. Even a brief walk outdoors or a few minutes in a garden can help to relax you.
Listen to calming music
Music can have a calming effect on the body and mind. Listening to your favourite songs or calming music can lower blood pressure and reduce the stress hormone, cortisol.
Practice self-compassion
Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge that your feelings are valid and that it's okay to not always be calm and collected. This self-compassion can act as a buffer against stress.
Remember, it's normal to feel anxious or angry sometimes. By familiarizing yourself with these strategies, you can better manage your emotions and cultivate a sense of calm.
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Know how to help others
Knowing how to help others is an important part of having faith enough to thaw the fear that freezes. Here are some ways to help others through fear and build their faith:
- Provide Comfort and Reassurance: Offer words of comfort and remind them of God's presence and protection. Share verses from the Bible, such as Psalm 34:4, Matthew 6:34, Joshua 1:9, and Romans 8:38-39, which speak of God's strength, provision, and comfort in times of fear and uncertainty.
- Pray and Seek God: Encourage them to pray and seek God's guidance and peace. Help them bring their troubles and fears to God and spend time in God's word, as it can provide comfort and direction.
- Share Testimonies and Experiences: Share your own experiences or those of others who have overcome fear through faith. Testimonies can be powerful reminders that God is faithful and can help others build their faith.
- Practical Help and Support: Offer practical help and support to those struggling with fear. This could include providing emotional support, connecting them with professional help, or simply being a listening ear.
- Identify and Address Underlying Fears: Help them identify and address the underlying fears that may be paralyzing them. Often, fears are rooted in past events or hurts. Encourage them to seek healing and address these past issues through prayer and counseling.
- Decision-Making Support: Fear can often hinder decision-making. Help others by encouraging them to seek God's wisdom and guidance in their decisions. Remind them that most decisions are repairable and that perfection is not the goal.
- Seek God's Wisdom: Remind them to seek God's wisdom and direction through prayer, reading the Bible, and seeking counsel from mature believers. God desires to give wisdom generously (James 1:5).
- Build Faith and Trust in God: Help others focus on building their faith and trust in God. Share verses like Isaiah 43:1-2,5, which assure God's presence and protection. Encourage them to spend time in God's word and in prayer, strengthening their relationship with Him.
- Discernment and Encouragement: Help others discern between normal fears and unhealthy fears that may be hindering their relationship with God. Encourage them to face their fears head-on and not give in to fear-mongering.
- Community and Fellowship: Encourage participation in a faith community, such as a church or small group. Being part of a supportive community can provide accountability, encouragement, and a safe space to process fears and build faith.
Remember, each person's journey is unique, so tailor your support to their specific needs. Be patient, loving, and compassionate as you help others navigate their fears and grow in their faith.
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Be aware of the dangers of freezing
Fear is a strong emotion that can freeze us and prevent us from taking action. It is important to be aware of the dangers of freezing and the negative impact it can have on our lives.
Freezing can manifest in different ways and have various consequences. One danger of freezing is that it can lead to procrastination and indecision. When faced with fear, we may become hesitant and struggle to make decisions, as mentioned in the "Fear Not" series by Dick Lincoln. We may be afraid of making the wrong choice and getting stuck in a cycle of analysis paralysis. This can result in missed opportunities and a lack of progress.
Another consequence of freezing is that it can lead to a state of stagnation and inertia. When we are frozen by fear, we may find ourselves stuck in unfulfilling situations, unable to take the necessary steps to improve our lives. This can affect various aspects of our lives, including our personal growth, careers, and relationships.
Additionally, freezing can cause us to become emotionally stagnant. We may suppress our emotions or fail to process them effectively, leading to a buildup of negative feelings such as anxiety, stress, and depression. This emotional stagnation can impact our mental health and overall well-being.
Freezing can also result in a lack of faith and trust in ourselves and others. When we are afraid, we may question our abilities and doubt our capacity to handle challenging situations. This can lead to low self-esteem and a sense of powerlessness.
Furthermore, freezing can cause us to miss out on opportunities for personal growth and transformation. When we allow fear to paralyze us, we may avoid taking risks, stepping out of our comfort zones, or embracing new experiences. This can hinder our ability to learn, grow, and reach our full potential.
Finally, freezing can have physical manifestations and impact our health. The stress and tension caused by fear can lead to physical symptoms such as fatigue, insomnia, headaches, and even more serious health issues.
It is important to recognize the signs of freezing and take proactive steps to address it. By identifying our fears, seeking support, and gradually facing our fears, we can begin to thaw the freeze and move forward with courage and faith.
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Frequently asked questions
The Bible has many verses that talk about having faith over fear and looking to God for strength and reassurance. For example, Isaiah 43:1-2,5 says, "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze...Do not be afraid, for I am with you."
Identify what you are afraid of and label the underlying fears preventing you from making decisions. Keep in mind that most decisions are repairable, and seek to be reasonably informed rather than aiming for perfection. Believe that God is on your side and trust that He is working in you.
Fear can be described as a strong emotion caused by an awareness of something threatening or dangerous. Faith, on the other hand, is trust in God and His plan for your life. When you have faith, you can face your fears and allow them to pass through you without letting them consume you.
Recognize that fear is often rooted in past events or hurts. Pray through the issue and seek healing from God. Remember that you don't have to face your fears alone—utilize the help that God has given you, such as the Holy Spirit, the experiences of others, and wise counsel.