God's Plan: Keeping Faith In Times Of Loss

Losing a loved one can be a traumatising experience. It is natural to feel grief and anger, and it is common to question one's faith or even lose it. Religion can be a source of comfort for some, but it can also leave one feeling confused and empty when one's beliefs cannot help them accept their loss.

It is important to remember that grief is a process and that it takes time to heal. It is okay to feel angry at God and to question one's faith. Be patient with yourself and give yourself time to mourn. Seek support from friends, family, or a spiritual advisor if needed.

Remember that your faith is a relationship, not a checklist. God is a loving parent who wants your full heart, not your full hands. He understands your pain and wants you to express how you feel, even when you are angry.

Give yourself time to heal

Losing someone you love can be heart-wrenching and bring you to your knees in suffering. It is important to be gentle with yourself in the first few days and weeks following your loss.

It is common to want to move forward and heal instantly. We live in a world of instant gratification, where we can have our shopping delivered the same day we ordered it, watch TV shows instantly, and receive emails and notifications instantaneously. We want the pain, anxiety, and depression to be gone instantly. We want the years of abuse to be erased and forgotten. We want to hurry up and heal faster, to learn the lessons at the speed of light so we can move on with our lives.

However, healing is a process that happens step by step, day by day. It is more like gardening than a fast-food drive-thru. When you plant a seed, you do not come back an hour later expecting to see a blooming flower. You understand that it takes time for the seed to take root and that it needs sunshine, water, and good soil to thrive, grow, and eventually bloom. You give it space and show up to take care of it.

It is okay to give yourself time to heal. It is okay to not be okay. It is okay to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, and grief. It is okay to cry and feel bad. It is okay to not be strong and stable all the time. It is okay to not have all the answers. It is okay to not know what to do. It is okay to not be ready to get back on track. It is okay to take all the time you need.

Healing is not a fun process. It is full of tears, introspection, and reminiscing. It takes courage to embrace your pain and strength to overcome it. But eventually, everything pays off.

• Practicing deep breathing exercises to calm your anxiety
• Practicing naming your emotions as they arise
• Accepting your emotions and allowing yourself to feel them without judgment or expectation
• Not comparing yourself to others, as you know nothing about the battles someone else is having deep inside
• Not being too hard on yourself

Reflect on your grief

Grief is a natural reaction to loss, no matter what your spiritual beliefs are. It will strike you in some of the most unexpected ways. You’ll go from feeling numb after someone you love dies, to crying uncontrollably, to shouting in anger at the top of your lungs.

The expression of these emotions is necessary as you reflect on your grief. Tears are cleansing and healing, and the unleashing of bottled-up emotions will help you progress through your grief. Take the time needed to be with yourself in your grief. Think about all the reasons why you’ve lost your faith, and meditate on them. You don’t need to pressure yourself to find the answers.

Your faith isn’t supposed to be a spiritual checklist, earning you God points for a job well done. It’s a loving relationship with Jesus Christ. Jesus came not only to fulfil God’s will but also to show us the way.

If you’re feeling distant from God, know that He is not absent from you. His presence is available, and He is nearer than you think. If you’re losing faith in God, call out to Him. Bring Him your pain, your frustration, and your unmet expectations, knowing that He cares, He sees, and He will show you the way.

Be honest with God. When you feel angry, empty, or resentful, tell Him about it. Write it down. He can handle your hurt, and He’d rather you be honest with Him than walk away from Him.

Accept your anger

Anger is a normal reaction to loss. Anger can be a bridge that connects you to your loved one. It can help you process your grief and come to terms with what has happened. It is a powerful emotion that can propel you towards healing.

Anger can be directed at God, or a system, or a traffic light, or even the person who has passed. You may feel that your loved one could have prevented what happened, or you may have unexpressed resentment towards them. Whatever it is, it is important to give yourself permission to feel your anger and express your emotions.

As you come to terms with your loved one's passing, your experience of loss might start to feel like too much. This is a sign that you are giving space to your feelings in a healthy way. You might feel calm, erratic, or controlled. Whatever you are feeling, it is normal, and a healthy part of losing someone you love.

Anger is one of the hardest things to make sense of when grieving. It is one of the most difficult feelings to express and allow ourselves to feel. However, there is a lot of power in anger. When we feel most lost, anger can help us take back some control.

Open up with a trusted friend or therapist, find a solitary place to scream, or do a tough workout to externalise the energy of your anger. You may find that the feelings are still there as time passes, but their ability to disrupt your life will lessen if you take stock of them and give them the space they need.

Let others believe for you

When you lean on your faith and beliefs, you may be looking for and wanting serenity. Instead, you go through several stages of grief and rough emotion before you can accept your loss and regain peace. During this time, it is essential that you ask for and receive others' help when needed.

Ask your congregation or those of your friends who are spiritual to pray for you. Ask them to carry your weight until you're strong enough to walk alone in your faith. If this means accepting their help with your household, taking care of personal chores for you, or holding special prayer circles, accept their help with grace and gratitude. There may come a time when someone else will ask you to be that support for them.

When you're grieving, you may feel that your faith community is judging you for the emotions of your grief, fixating on the idea that grief and faith cannot coexist. This leaves grievers feeling as though their grief has been minimized or misunderstood. If you feel this way, consider that grieving the separation from someone you love can exist alongside a faith that they are in a better place and that you will see them again.

If you are not finding the support you need in your congregation, it may be worth reaching out to others with a similar faith background who have also experienced loss.

Rely on your faith

Losing a loved one can be a traumatising experience, and it is only natural to question your faith and God in the face of tragedy. It is important to remember that grief is a natural reaction to loss, and it is okay to feel angry, confused, and frustrated at God. Here are some ways to rely on your faith in times of tragedy:

• Give yourself time to heal: The first few days and weeks after losing a loved one can be emotionally draining. It is important to be patient with yourself and give yourself time to mourn and process your loss.
• Reflect on your grief: It is important to express your emotions and reflect on your grief. Crying and screaming are natural ways to cope with the pain. Take time to think about the reasons why you have lost your faith and try to work through them.
• Pray: Prayer is a way to connect with your faith and the divine. Even if you don't feel confident about your beliefs, offering prayers can help you reconnect with your higher power and provide comfort.
• Accept your anger: It is normal to feel angry and confused after losing a loved one. Anger is a healthy reaction to grief and can propel you towards healing. God understands your pain and wants you to express your emotions, even if they are negative.
• Have conversations with God: Ask God for answers and pray for strength. This will help you make sense of your loss and provide some peace and comfort.
• Seek support from others: It can be difficult to regain peace after a tragedy, and it is important to ask for help when needed. Reach out to your congregation or spiritual friends and ask them to pray for you and support you through this difficult time.
• Rely on your faith: Choose to rely on your faith to get you through the darkest hours of your pain and suffering. Read spiritual and religious texts that talk about people who were suffering and angry at God's promises. These stories can help you feel less alone in your grief.
• Seek spiritual advice: If you are struggling to open up about your loss of faith, consider seeking spiritual advice from a trusted source. You may feel more comfortable talking to someone outside your immediate religious circle. Alternatively, you can seek spiritual online therapy or counselling.

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