Can Amish Marry Outside Their Faith?

The Amish faith has a set of rules and traditions that dictate how its members live their lives. One of these rules is that members can only marry within the Amish Church. This means that both people must be baptized within the church to be married. While this is a strict rule, there have been rare cases of outsiders joining the Amish faith to marry an Amish-raised person. In other cases, one spouse has left the faith while the other has stayed, and they have remained married. However, this is unusual, as typically both spouses will exit the church together.

To marry in the Amish church, both people must be baptised within it

The Amish position on marriage is clear: to marry in the Amish church, both people must be baptised within it. This is a universal rule across all Amish churches. The requirement is due to the nature of the Amish church and its influence on a person's lifestyle. Amish people commit to following sometimes quite restrictive church rules, so allowing mixed marriages where one person is outside this requirement would likely disrupt and destabilise Amish society. For example, it would be unrealistic to expect one member of a marriage to adhere to a plain horse-and-buggy lifestyle, while the other lives as a modern person, using a car and other technologies.

Most Amish youth get baptised between the ages of 18 and 22 and marry soon after. If a young Amish person's "special friend" decides to be baptised, their partner is likely to do the same if they wish to continue their relationship and get married.

There are, however, two unusual cases to note. In rare instances, an outsider may join the Amish in order to marry an Amish person. Amish do accept converts, although they do not generally encourage outsiders to join. So, in this case, a person from a non-Amish background marries someone raised in the Amish faith, but since the non-Amish person has joined the Amish church, both are, in fact, Amish.

The second unusual case is when a married Amish individual has left the faith, while their spouse has stayed. They remain married, and the one that stays a member is not expected to divorce their spouse. So, in this situation, you end up with a husband or wife who is an Amish church member, and one who is not. However, this situation is unusual, as typically both spouses will exit the church together.

Dating customs and wedding traditions among the Amish vary from community to community. Dating typically begins around the age of 16, with most couples marrying between the ages of 20 and 22. To find a date, young adults socialise at functions such as frolics, church, or home visits. One of the most popular activities is the Sunday night singing, which can include Amish youth from several districts and typically takes place in someone's home or barn.

During the singing, boys and girls sit at a long table facing each other, singing hymns and socialising between songs. The singing lasts until around 10 pm, and then baked goods and drinks are brought out for the teens to enjoy as they mingle. If a boy is interested in a girl, he offers to give her a ride home in his open-topped courting buggy.

Amish dates typically involve taking buggy rides together or participating in outdoor activities with a group. Some more progressive churches allow the young couple to travel into town for an evening meal. Because divorce is not allowed in the Amish community, the courting process is taken very seriously.

Amish weddings are typically held on Tuesdays and Thursdays in November and December, or in the Spring and Summer for larger communities and those not driven by the agrarian calendar. The wedding ceremony itself may take several hours, followed by a community reception that includes a banquet and singing. Newlyweds spend the wedding night at the home of the bride's parents.

Outsiders are not permitted to marry within the community

The Amish have a strict set of rules and beliefs that govern their way of life, and these extend to their marriage customs. Outsiders, or 'English' as the Amish refer to non-Amish people, are not permitted to marry within the Amish community. This is a universal rule across all Amish churches.

The reason for this rule is that the Amish way of life is very different from modern life. They live a traditional, rural existence, and their lifestyle is governed by the Ordnung, which differs slightly from community to community. The Ordnung dictates that certain modern technologies are avoided, such as high-voltage electricity and cars. It would be unrealistic to expect one member of a marriage to adhere to these rules while the other lives a modern life, using technology and transport.

The Amish believe that being unified in their commitment to following the rules of the Amish church helps them succeed as families and communities. Therefore, to be married in the Amish church, both people must be baptised within it. Most Amish youth are baptised between the ages of 18 and 22 and often marry soon after.

There are, however, a couple of exceptions to the rule. In rare cases, an outsider may join the Amish in order to marry an Amish person. The Amish do accept converts, although they do not actively seek to convert outsiders. In these cases, the non-Amish person has joined the Amish church, so both partners are, in fact, Amish. It has also happened that one spouse has left the faith while the other has remained. In these cases, divorce is not expected, and the spouse who remains an Amish church member is not required to leave their partner. However, this situation is unusual, as typically both spouses will exit the church together.

Amish youth get baptised and often marry soon after, between the ages of 18-22

Amish youth typically get baptised between the ages of 18 and 22, and many marry soon after. This is a significant period in the life of an Amish person, as baptism is a lifelong commitment to God and the church.

The Amish believe that baptism should be a choice made by adults, and so they do not practise infant baptism. The decision to be baptised is a serious one, and Amish youth must attend classes for baptism, consisting of nine meetings with church leadership over an 18-week period. The classes cover the Dordrecht Confession of Faith, a founding document of Amish belief, as well as the church's individual Ordnung, or rules.

Baptism is a prerequisite for marriage in the Amish church, and so the decision to be baptised is often influenced by a young person's desire to marry their "special friend". If one half of a couple decides to be baptised, the other will likely follow suit if they wish to continue their relationship and marry.

The baptism ceremony takes place during a Sunday church service, and involves the candidate kneeling and answering questions about their commitment to living a Christian life and to the church. The deacon then pours water through the bishop's hands over the individual's head. The individual is now a full-fledged member of the Amish church, and can marry within the church.

While the Amish do not generally marry outside of their faith, there are two unusual cases to note. In rare cases, an outsider may join the Amish in order to marry an Amish person. Additionally, it has happened that one spouse has left the faith while the other has remained, and they have stayed married. However, this situation is unusual, as typically both spouses will exit the church together.

Amish dating customs and wedding traditions vary from community to community

In terms of dating customs, the Old Order Amish tend to keep their relationships a secret, with boys and girls typically not showing any interest in each other until the guy decides to ask the girl out. On the other hand, the New Order Amish encourage couples to read the Bible and pray together on their dates. While the Old Order Amish youth are more likely to date around during their Rumspringa (a period of adolescence where the rules of the Amish community are relaxed), the New Order Amish tend to date with marriage in mind.

When it comes to wedding traditions, the Old Order Amish usually keep their engagements a secret until a month or two before the wedding, while the New Order Amish often announce their engagements several months in advance. The Old Order Amish typically hold their weddings on Tuesdays or Thursdays from October to early December, while the New Order Amish may choose to get married at any time of the year. The Old Order Amish bride usually wears a black head covering, while the New Order Amish bride may wear a white one. The wedding ceremony and festivities also differ between the two groups, with the Old Order Amish weddings lasting all day, while the New Order Amish weddings typically end by three or four o'clock in the afternoon.

Despite these differences, there are some commonalities between the dating and wedding traditions of the Old Order and New Order Amish. In both groups, dating typically begins around the age of 16, and couples usually marry between the ages of 18 to 22 or 20 to 25. Sunday night singing events are a popular place for young people to meet and socialize. The wedding ceremony is similar to a typical church service, followed by a large meal and fellowship. The bride usually makes her own wedding dress, which is often blue or purple, and the groom wears his traditional Sunday church clothes.

Amish weddings are held at the bride's family home, with 400-600 people in attendance

Amish weddings are a joyous occasion, steeped in tradition and culture, and are a time for community bonding. They are held at the bride's family home, with a large guest list of around 400-600 people, including relatives, friends, and coworkers. The bride's family builds a temporary wedding 'house' to accommodate all the guests, and the wedding lasts all day, from 8:00 a.m. until after dark.

The wedding ceremony itself is a religious affair, with a sermon, singing, and the exchanging of vows. The bishop gives the couple private instruction and his blessing, and the couple pledges to care for each other and to be patient and loving. After the vows, there is a final prayer before the wedding party and guests head back to the bride's family home for the celebration.

Amish weddings are a community effort, with everyone pitching in to help. The bride, groom, and their families eat first, followed by the guests in shifts of about 200 people at a time. The wedding meal is a delicious spread of traditional Pennsylvania Dutch recipes, including creamed celery, "Amish Casserole" (chicken and stuffing), mashed potatoes, coleslaw, applesauce, dinner rolls, pears, doughnuts, and an assortment of pies and sweets. The celebration is filled with visiting, games, and connection among families.

The Amish wedding is a significant event that symbolizes the continuity of Amish beliefs and practices for future generations. It is a time for the community to come together and celebrate the union of two young people, who will soon start their own family, continuing the tight-knit Amish way of life.

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