Marital Sexual Sin: Is It Possible For Couples?

Sexual sin is a broad topic that encompasses a range of behaviours, from adultery and pornography to rape and incest. While the specifics of what constitutes sexual sin may vary across different religious and cultural contexts, it is generally understood to involve sexual activities that are considered immoral or unethical. When it comes to married couples, the question of whether they can commit sexual sins becomes more complex. On the one hand, marriage is often seen as a sacred institution that should be honoured and respected. On the other hand, humans are fallible and even married couples may find themselves struggling with sexual sin.

Premarital sexual sin can bring painfully scarring consequences that don't disappear with marriage

Firstly, sex is not just a physical act. When a husband and wife become one flesh, they experience a deep physical and emotional oneness that binds them together. Sex bonds two people together. When you give yourself away to someone outside the commitment and protection of marriage, it breaks down an important part of who you are and affects future relationships. You have given precious pieces of yourself away to someone who is not your spouse.

Secondly, the absence of the commitment that marriage brings will leave you feeling emotionally down. Marriage is self-sacrificing love based on a promise of exclusive loyalty that unites a man and a woman until death. It is a beautiful reflection of Christ and his bride, the church. He promises never to leave us or forsake us. When we give ourselves away outside of marriage, we experience a lack of commitment that leaves us feeling empty.

Thirdly, premarital sex can lead to physical consequences. Sexually transmitted diseases and unintended pregnancies that end in abortion are two very real physical consequences.

Finally, premarital sex can have emotional consequences. Lasting emotional bonds are created, and women, in particular, can be left with a trail of emotions lingering for days or years. This can even trickle into marriage, whether or not the spouse was the premarital sex partner.

In conclusion, premarital sexual sin can have deeply scarring consequences on both a physical and emotional level. These consequences may not disappear with marriage and can affect the ability to form a deep and committed relationship with a spouse.

God designed sex for marriage

Firstly, God created sex for the reproduction of the human species. In Genesis 1:27, the Bible says that God created humans in His image, "male and female He created them". This is the first reference to human sexuality in the Bible. God then blesses them and commands them to "be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth" (Genesis 1:28).

Secondly, God created sex to express love and to bring a husband and wife into emotional and physical oneness. Sex is meant to be a deep physical and emotional bond that binds a married couple together. In Genesis 2:24, the Bible says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." This verse shows that God intended for sex to be a part of the marriage covenant, a sacred union that reflects the image and likeness of the Trinity.

Thirdly, God created sex to meet our need for companionship. In Genesis 2:18, the Bible says, "It is not good for the man to be alone." God acknowledges our need for fellowship with Him and with other people. Marriage is meant to be a primary, permanent, exclusive, and intimate relationship that meets our need for companionship.

By following God's design for sex within the context of marriage, we can experience the fullness of His blessing and purpose for our sexuality.

Sexual sin is an epidemic, but it doesn't have to be terminal

Sexual sin is a widespread issue, with many individuals and marriages affected by it. It can take various forms, such as adultery, pornography, and same-sex attraction. While it may seem like a daunting problem, it is possible to overcome and prevent it from becoming a terminal issue.

Firstly, it is crucial to address and confront sexual sin rather than ignoring it. By bringing it into the light, whether through confession or sharing with a trusted community, we can begin the process of healing and restoration. This transparency is essential for fostering grace and fighting against sexual sin collectively.

Secondly, it is important to recognize that non-sexual sins can also have a detrimental impact. Pride, selfishness, and a lack of respect for God's design can contribute to sexual sin and damage relationships. Therefore, it is vital to address all forms of sin and not underestimate the impact of non-sexual transgressions.

Additionally, we must not cheapen Christ's redemption by believing that certain sins are beyond His reach. Christ's sacrifice is sufficient to redeem all kinds of sins, including porn addiction and same-sex attraction. We must trust in His power to transform and restore, knowing that He justifies and sanctifies us through His Spirit.

Lastly, it is unrealistic and unfair to demand perfection from ourselves or our spouses. We must recognize that we all fall short and that our faith is not based on our ability to avoid sin but on Christ's finished work. By fixing our eyes on Him and relying on His strength, we can find the grace and mercy to overcome sexual sin and experience restoration in our marriages.

In conclusion, while sexual sin is prevalent, it does not have to be terminal. Through confession, repentance, and a steadfast trust in God's redemption, it is possible to heal, restore, and strengthen marriages affected by sexual sin.

Spouses need to know what their partner has done and had done to them

Trust and honesty are essential in a marriage, and this includes being open about past sexual experiences and sins. It can be difficult to disclose past trauma, and it may be met with an unsupportive response, but it is important to do so to build a healthy relationship.

For the spouse disclosing past trauma:

Disclosing past sexual trauma can lead to greater emotional and sexual intimacy in a relationship. It is important to look for "green flags" and ensure that your partner is someone you can trust. It can be helpful to disclose your experiences in a safe, supportive environment, such as with a therapist. This can help you to process your trauma and develop healthy boundaries in your relationship.

For the spouse receiving the disclosure:

It is important to respond in a way that is sensitive to the trauma and prioritises your partner's emotions. It can be difficult to hear about something horrible that has happened to your partner, and you may need time to process it yourself, but it is important to communicate that you believe them and acknowledge the courage it took to share their experiences.

For both spouses:

Healing from sexual sin and trauma is possible, but it takes time and effort from both partners. It is important to seek help if needed, whether through therapy, counselling, or support groups. It is also crucial to prioritise each other's needs and boundaries and to work together to rebuild trust and intimacy.

Sexual sin that remains secret is dangerous and deadly

Sexual sin is a broad term that includes any violation of God's intended boundaries for sexuality, such as fornication, homosexuality, pornography, and lust. These acts are considered sinful because they go against God's design for sex as a unifying, physical and emotional bond between a husband and wife. When individuals engage in sexual activity outside of this context, it not only cheapens the beauty of God's gift but also invites serious consequences.

The Bible is clear that sexual sin is a grave offense, with almost every book in the Bible denouncing sexual immorality. It is directly opposed to God's will to sanctify us and can defile not just our physical bodies but also our hearts and spirits. Unrepentant sexual sin makes it impossible to experience the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives and can hinder our ability to walk in the Spirit.

Furthermore, sexual sin has far-reaching consequences that impact not only the individuals involved but also society as a whole. Our sexual disobedience has contributed to a world plagued by disease, abortion, perversion, child molestation, addiction, and sexual exploitation. It breaks down important parts of who we are and affects our future relationships, as we give away precious pieces of ourselves meant to be shared exclusively within the marriage covenant.

Keeping sexual sin secret only exacerbates these dangers and deadliness. Secrets create an illusion of intimacy, drawing couples closer together in the wrong place and with the wrong person. It isolates the relationship, blinding individuals to glaring concerns and preventing them from seeing the relationship with a clear head and balanced heart. Secrets hinder the necessary space for reflection, confession, and repentance, hardening individuals against repentance and plundering trust within the relationship.

To break free from the deadly grip of secret sexual sin, individuals must first confess and ask for forgiveness from God, recognizing that sexual sin is primarily an offense against Him. They should recommit themselves to purity, requiring the same commitment from their partner and seeking accountability from trusted Christian friends or leaders. Additionally, couples may consider taking a meaningful break from the relationship to gain spiritual clarity and strengthen habits of repentance and purity.

In conclusion, sexual sin that remains secret is indeed dangerous and deadly. It not only defies God's design for sexuality but also has far-reaching consequences for individuals and society. Keeping it hidden only exacerbates the problem, hindering repentance and true intimacy. To find freedom, individuals must confess to God, recommit to purity, and seek accountability and wise counsel.

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