Exploring Dominant Fidelity: Are They Faithful Partners?

are dominants faithful

Dominance and submission (D/s) is a set of behaviours, customs, and rituals involving the submission of one person to another in an erotic episode or lifestyle. Those who take the superior position are called dominants, while those who take the subordinate position are called submissive, or subs. A dominant-submissive relationship fits within the overarching term BDSM, which stands for bondage and discipline, domination and submission, and sadism and masochism.

While the proportion of the population that partakes in D/s activities is difficult to ascertain, a 2008 study found that 61% of men were exclusively or mainly dominant, while a 2019 publication stated that only a minority of the population engages in or fantasises about BDSM activity.

Dominants can vary in their motivations and behaviours. Some dominants may be more interested in bondage kink than in being a full-time dominant, while others may seek a submissive who finds reward in the recognition of the quality of their service. Some types of dominant males include Meatheads (Physical Dominance), Smart Alecs (Holier Than Thou), Masters of the Universe, Charmers, and Authorities.

The relationship between a dominant and submissive revolves around consent and guidelines, with consent being a core focus and requirement within the world of BDSM.

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Dominance and submission (D/s) is a subset of BDSM

D/s can be conducted without physical contact and can be done anonymously over the phone, email, or messaging systems. However, it can also be intensely physical, sometimes crossing into sadomasochism. In D/s, both parties take pleasure from either dominating or being dominated. Those who take the superior position are called dominants, while those who take the subordinate position are called submissive.

The dominant-submissive relationship is based on consent and guidelines, with consent being a core focus and requirement in BDSM. This is what separates sexual sadism from coercive sexual sadism disorder. Consent can be granted verbally or through a written form known as a "Dungeon negotiation form".

D/s may be ritualized or freeform and can be sexual or non-sexual, long- or short-term, and intimate or anonymous. It can also be combined with other forms of BDSM, such as professional dominatrix, resistance play, enforced chastity, and fetishes.

The BDSM community promotes safe play and provides resources to learn about respecting consent. They also have consequences for those who break the trust and disobey consent and boundaries, including being blacklisted from the community.

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Physical contact is not necessary for D/s

Physical contact is not necessary for Dominance and submission (D/s). D/s is a set of behaviours, customs, and rituals involving the submission of one person to another in an erotic episode or lifestyle. It is a subset of BDSM, which stands for "bondage and discipline" (B&D), "domination and submission" (D&S), and "sadism and masochism" (S&M).

D/s can be conducted anonymously over the telephone, email, or other messaging systems. It is a negotiated lifestyle, with people discussing their wishes, limits, and needs to find common ground. A D/s relationship may be sexual or non-sexual, long- or short-term, and intimate or anonymous.

The dominant and submissive relationship revolves around consent and guidelines. Consent is a vital element in all psychological play and can be granted verbally or in writing. A safeword is usually given to the submissive partner to prevent the dominant from overstepping physical and emotional boundaries.

D/s participants often refer to their activity as "play", with an individual play session called a "scene". The dominant and submissive relations pertain to two people who play with psychological, emotional, and/or physical dominance.

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BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, domination and submission, and sadism and masochism

BDSM is an umbrella term for a variety of erotic practices or role-playing involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. The acronym BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism.

BDSM is a catch-all phrase covering a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures. The BDSM community generally welcomes anyone with a non-normative streak who identifies with the community. This may include cross-dressers, body modification enthusiasts, animal role-players, rubber fetishists, and others.

Activities and relationships in BDSM are characterized by the participants taking on complementary roles that involve an inequality of power. The terms submissive and dominant are often used to distinguish these roles, with the dominant partner taking psychological control. The terms top and bottom are also used, with the top being the instigator of an action and the bottom being the receiver.

BDSM actions often take place during a specific period agreed upon by both parties, referred to as "play", a "scene", or a "session". Participants usually derive pleasure from this, even though many of the practices, such as inflicting pain or humiliation, or being restrained, would be unpleasant under other circumstances.

The fundamental principles of BDSM require that it be performed with the informed consent of all parties. Mutual consent makes a clear legal and ethical distinction between BDSM and crimes such as sexual assault and domestic violence.

BDSM is commonly mistaken as being "all about pain". However, BDSM practitioners are primarily concerned with power, humiliation, and pleasure. The aspects of Dominance and Submission and Bondage and Discipline may not include physical suffering at all but include the sensations experienced by different emotions of the mind.

Of the three categories of BDSM, only Sadomasochism specifically requires pain, but this is typically a means to an end, as a vehicle for feelings of humiliation, dominance, etc. In its most extreme form, the preoccupation with this kind of pleasure can lead participants to view humans as mere means of sexual gratification.

Dominance and submission of power are an entirely different experience and are not always psychologically associated with physical pain. Many BDSM activities involve no pain or humiliation but are just an exchange of power and control.

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A safeword is used to prevent the dominant from overstepping boundaries

In dominance and submission (D/s), a subset of BDSM, a safeword is used to prevent the dominant from overstepping physical and emotional boundaries. It is usually a code word, a series of code words, or another type of signal used by the submissive partner to communicate their physical or emotional state, particularly when approaching or crossing a boundary. Safewords can have different levels of urgency—some may bring a scene to an outright stop, while others may indicate that a boundary is being approached.

The use of a safeword is especially important when engaging in verbal humiliation or playing "mind-games", as the dominant partner may not be aware of an emotional boundary until it is crossed. If an emotional boundary is breached and the safeword spoken, the dominant should immediately cease all play and discuss the breach with the submissive in a tender and understanding manner.

It is important to note that all participants in a BDSM scene, including the dominant, should have a safeword to prevent overstepping boundaries. While dominants may not seem to have limits from an outside perspective, they do have their own boundaries and should be comfortable using a safeword if these are exceeded.

Safewords are an important tool to ensure consent is maintained throughout a scene and can be used by either the dominant or submissive partner if they feel uncomfortable continuing. Within the BDSM community, there are universal safewords used according to traffic lights: red means stop everything, yellow means slow down and do not go any further, and green means continue with more intensity. "Silent safewords" are also used when speaking is not an option, such as clapping hands or snapping fingers.

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There can be any number of partners in a D/s relationship

There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to the number of partners in a Dominance and submission (D/s) relationship. The dynamic can involve any number of partners, and there is room for flexibility and variation in the structure of these relationships.

For instance, a single dominant individual may have multiple submissive partners, and these submissives, in turn, can take on dominant roles with other partners. Conversely, a submissive individual may have multiple dominant partners. The number of partners involved is not limited to one-way relationships, as there can be multiple dominants and submissives in a group dynamic as well.

The relationships within the D/s dynamic can be monogamous or polyamorous, and romantic love is not a necessary component. Partners may be deeply in love or may not have any romantic involvement at all. Sexual intimacy is also not a requirement, as some D/s relationships are sexual, while others are entirely platonic.

The D/s dynamic allows for a wide range of expressions and variations, including fantasy role-play, with partners taking on classic dominant or submissive roles, or authority-figure roles such as teacher and student, police officer and suspect, or parent and child. Animal play, where one partner assumes the role of an owner or caretaker, and the other takes on the role of a pet or animal, is another form of D/s play.

Ultimately, the number of partners and the nature of the relationships within a D/s dynamic are flexible and can be tailored to the desires and preferences of the individuals involved.

Frequently asked questions

To be dominant means to be in control. The term is derived from the Latin "dominus", which means "lord or master". Dominance and submission (D/s) is a set of behaviours, customs, and rituals involving the submission of one person to another in an erotic episode or lifestyle.

There are seven types of dominant males: Meatheads, Drill Sergeants, Smart Alecs, Masters of the Universe, Charmers, Authorities, and Charismatics. Each type exhibits different behaviours and strategies to exert power and control.

A dominant individual typically seeks genuine submissiveness in a partner. They look for someone who finds pleasure and reward in the act of obedience and service. Motivation to serve well and strive for improvement are also important qualities valued by dominants.

Written by
  • Seti
  • Seti
    Author Editor Reviewer
Reviewed by
  • Aisha
  • Aisha
    Author Editor Reviewer
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